Hi, sorry if this sounds like a whole lot of adolescent whining, but Gerard told me to write from the heart, and this is the closest that I've probably been to doing that. Please constructive critiscm is eagerly awaited as always, and I'd be gratetful if you had the time and thought that the story was worth that. Oh and it's pretty short, my apologies.

Fallen Friend

Goodbye my fallen friend, you’ve slipped so far and are too long away for me to reach. It’s been twelve days since you last called, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m ever going to hear the sound of your voice again, or your laugh which I loved so much. Is it my fault that our friendship is over, that we fought so hard and lost something so precious?

What happened to our friendship, what happened to that mutual respect? We both spoke bitter words at our parting, words I know that I regret speaking and feel the pain still fresh from hearing. Am I to be plagued with memories of misdeeds and wrong actions or will there be a saving grace which will banish this demon in my head, this clawing monster of guilt that I’m feeling tear my insides to shreds. So, I’ll question myself again, what happened to our friendship? Your opinion meant so much, but in the end was reduced to so little. I miss you fallen friend, I’d give anything to have you back in my life again.

But is that really what I want, do I really miss you, or is it something different to that? Maybe I’m just afraid to start over new and away from everything that I know. This creeping sensation of doubt is chilling and I wish that things were simpler but they’re not. I want to just get away from all this and start anew, but that’s a scary prospect, and I’ve heard that the past will always come back to haunt you. I want to move on and prove that I can make it on my own, but I’m not even sure about that. Come to think about it I don’t even know where my will ends and where other’s expectations begins.

I do miss you, your smile, your laugh, but that part of my life is gone. It’s hard to leave it behind, but even harder not to leave. You’ve affected who I’ve become, and I thank you for that my fallen friend. Maybe one day I’ll see you on the street, and lend a smile, a silent thankyou for the good times. Until that I’ll remain anonymous, and seek comfort in the sunshine and memories of what was, and wish that it could still be.