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WORKING THROUGH SUMMERTIME |
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By brook_rivers
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02 July 2006 |
lazy writers h/w The searing heat Pierces the monotony of mid-week Causes restlessness amongst the dedicated workers in their idenitical uniform that ties them together the sun dazes their unaccustom brains and sets them off task disinterest is the result and targets are not met The salty trickle of sweat slowly slides down the slackened expresion as each unit member in their humid-state clock watches the seconds slowly tick by everyone accounted for as they gaze out at the newly transformed desert reflected in the thin glass that is seperating tham from freedom and the pleasure of a BBQ....... |
Working Through Summertime
Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 2nd July 2006 | | How very well you have put this. I am so glad to have been there, done that, and now, in retirement, am free to do the work when I WANT TO. ha ha. Old age has its advantages (and disadvantages). (Surely there's a poem there!) | Oh the memories!!
Written by NuttyWithIt (38 comments posted) 2nd July 2006 | | This poem is lovely! It reminded me of the days I worked in an office and hated working when the sun was out!! But the extended lunch hours down the pub certainly improved the afternoons!! Better get my brain into writing mode to match this!! Oh, only critisism is that I didn't like the different amount of lines to each verse. Couldn't find a rythm to it, but then that's the beauty of poetry, you can do it however you like!! lol So it's still good, just not in my rythmic format!! xxx |
Written by jean.day (2908 comments posted) 3rd July 2006 | | I really enjoyed this Brook. You certainly paint a picture that lots of people will be able to identify with. | Vivid Timely Pictures
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 3rd July 2006 | Brook this speaks to me so clearly. You've captured the essence, the frustration and annoyance at being shut up in a stuffy office on a beautiful sunny day.
Surely, the verse:
The salty trickle of sweat
slowly slides down
the slackened expresion
as each unit member
in their humid-state
clock watches
really says it all...
Fabulous writing...
Well done
best wishes
mishmish x | Working through Summer time.
Written by Buchan ( comments posted) 3rd July 2006 | | Excellent poem so well written and with a great message.Thank you for writing and sharing. Happy Evening. |
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