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Poetry
WORKING THROUGH SUMMERTIME
By brook_rivers
02 July 2006
lazy writers h/w


The searing heat
Pierces the monotony
of mid-week
Causes restlessness
amongst the dedicated workers
in their idenitical uniform
that ties them together

the sun dazes their
unaccustom brains
and sets them off task
disinterest is the result
and targets are not met

The salty trickle of sweat
slowly slides down
the slackened expresion
as each unit member
in their humid-state
clock watches

the seconds slowly
tick by
everyone accounted for
as they gaze out at
the newly transformed desert
reflected in the thin glass
that is seperating
tham from freedom
and the pleasure of a BBQ.......

Reviews
Working Through Summertime
Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 2nd July 2006
How very well you have put this. I am so glad to have been there, done that, and now, in retirement, am free to do the work when I WANT TO. ha ha. Old age has its advantages (and disadvantages). (Surely there's a poem there!)
Oh the memories!!
Written by NuttyWithIt (38 comments posted) 2nd July 2006
This poem is lovely! It reminded me of the days I worked in an office and hated working when the sun was out!! But the extended lunch hours down the pub certainly improved the afternoons!! Better get my brain into writing mode to match this!! Oh, only critisism is that I didn't like the different amount of lines to each verse. Couldn't find a rythm to it, but then that's the beauty of poetry, you can do it however you like!! lol So it's still good, just not in my rythmic format!! xxx

Written by jean.day (2908 comments posted) 3rd July 2006
I really enjoyed this Brook. You certainly paint a picture that lots of people will be able to identify with.
Vivid Timely Pictures
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 3rd July 2006
Brook this speaks to me so clearly. You've captured the essence, the frustration and annoyance at being shut up in a stuffy office on a beautiful sunny day. 
 
Surely, the verse: 
 
The salty trickle of sweat 
slowly slides down 
the slackened expresion 
as each unit member 
in their humid-state 
clock watches 
 
really says it all... 
 
Fabulous writing... 
 
Well done  
 
best wishes 
 
mishmish x
Working through Summer time.
Written by Buchan ( comments posted) 3rd July 2006
Excellent poem so well written and with a great message.Thank you for writing and sharing. Happy Evening.

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