1. Chicago O’Hare Airport – Wednesday June7th
Middle aged man talking on his cell phone.

“Paul speaking. Oh, where did you say that was? Sampson, West Virginia? And you say we promised you delivery today? And it’s not come? I will check into that and get back to you.”

“Hi Nance, this is Paul. I just got a call from some guy in West Viriginia who says that his order was supposed to be there today and it never got through. Apparently they are about to have an open day and our stuff was needed for that.  Check on it, will you and let me know.”

Five minutes pass.

“Hi Pete. No, I talked to Nance about it and she was going to get back to me. You say we have it down as the 9th? You’re sure of that? They are expecting it on the 7th and we are sending it on the 9th? Okay, thanks for that Pete.”

“Hi Nance. Could you contact our client in West Virginia and tell them that we have their order down for the 9th. I don’t know how it happened, but that’s just one of those things. I’ve got a plane to catch. We’ll talk later. Bye.”

2. My sister’s phone conversation overheard by me in Portland – Thursday June 7th

“Hello.
Yes, it is.
No I don’t.
I’ve got company from England at the moment.
Okay then. Thanks for calling.
Have a nice funeral.”

3. Shop in Portland, Oregon – Friday June 8th

“I’d like to buy these tops.”

“Do you have an account with us?

“No.”

“Do you have any coupons to use with your purchase today?”

“No.”

“Would you like us to send you some coupons?”

“Thanks but I don’t live here. I live in England.”

“Really? You’re from England! I don’t think I have we have ever had anyone in the store before from England.”

“Actually I come in here each time I visit in Portland. I like your clothes.”

“Don’t you have our store in England?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“This is a nice choice for you, and on sale. Aren’t you lucky?”

“Yes it is just what I have been looking for to go with my suit that I bought in Spain.”

“You went shopping in Spain?” Oh boy. What a life! Living in England and shopping in Spain. Man, I cannot believe it.”

“I was only in Spain for a fortnight holiday. I mean I was on vacation there for two weeks.”

“Just wait til I tell the others. England, Spain. What next? Well, you have a nice day, now, d’ya hear?”

4. Conversation on a cell phone on the light rail train going into Portland by a young black man, dressed in a loose white shirt, sleeves rolled up, jeans and white dress shoes without socks.

“Hi, Man. Just wanted to tell you I got the job.
Yeah.
Just had the interview and I start next week.
Yeah great.
There were five of us and I got it.
Yeah. Right.”

“Hi Chuck. Just wanted to tell you I got the job.
What you mean, big deal. It is a big deal, man!
First job I ever had!
No school and then drugs and stuff.
**** you ****.”

5.  Saturday June 18th.Conversation at party at my sister’s house with 20 or so relatives.

Up speaks new husband of great-niece.

“Do   You  Understand   the Way   We   Talk?”

“What??”
“Do  You  Understand   Our   Portland   Accent?”

“Oh course, I do. I’m an American. She’s my sister. I talk like you do.”

“Oh, no you don’t. You talk funny. That other guy – your husband maybe – he talks even funnier, but I can understand it okay. I watch a lot of English tv shows and so I am used to how you talk over there. But maybe  it’s cuz you’ve lived there so long that you talk funny.”

In walks mother-in-law of above.

“Look here. See that,” pulling away here hair to reveal the top of her left ear.

“You got've a new tattoo. Is it a butterfly?”

“No, it’s the Trinity – three equal bits – see?”

Her mother looks too. “You need a label so God knows who you are?”

“Tattoos are neat. I know this guy who had a heart done on his arm, and inside he put, “YOUR NAME.”

6. O’Hare airport café. Sunday June 25th. Girl in late twenties asks to share our table in the lunch area.

“Hi, can I sit here?”

“Sure.”
“Where are you folks going?”

“To England.”

“Wow. That is so neat. Wish I were going there.”

“Where are you going?”

“To Florida.”

“We should be envious of you.”

“Oh, no, your place is a lot nicer sounding. I go to Florida all the time.”

“Why does your flight go from the International Terminal?”

“Oh, I go on USA 3000 and it flies from here. It is nice that it’s so small here. The only down side is you have to put up with a lot of foreigners and sometimes you can’t understand a word, but I guess that’s okay. You guys have a good flight, okay?”

“Thanks. Same to you.”