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Poetry
Untitled
By Dorothy
28 April 2005

 

 

As the night begins, a revolution stirs.

He is there.

The bat, the black,

His fat stake of heart he archived in the dark.

He needs his sleep.

The morning rubble sounds

the obstruction at the cave

I am awake

long after we make love

I plan the colour of the sky

For tomorrow.

Reviews

Written by Cherry26 (10 comments posted) 28th June 2005
I like this. The ending is very good. It is a bit hard to for me to figure out exactly what you are saying in various lines but it doesn't change that fact that I like the poem.
almost perfect! =P
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 8th September 2006
methinks take the "his" off the beginning of line four, but that's just my style prefence. 
 
could be worked on, but very good! 
 
x clo x

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