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Comedy
Love Match
By woody44
04 July 2006
Another bit of ammunition for Givitsum`s spoof news....



   Today saw a thrilling Wimbledon final in which Maria Sharapova narrowly beat
 
Martina Hingis in a tightly fought match. Martina won the opening game with a

beautiful set of drop earrings and matching choker. Game two saw Maria come back

strongly with a Teddy Tinling top and matching skirt. Game three went to Martina after
a tactical change of headband from gaudy yellow to a much softer shade of green.

Game four was won to love by Maria after the packed crowd caught a glimpse of 
 
her rather fetching white frilly knickers. The next three games were extremely close

but Maria just edged the first set with her extremely erotic grunting.

    The second set was again evenly contested with Martina inching ahead with some

lovely foreplay which had the crowd begging for more. Maria countered with some

exquisite tongue rolling but in the end she had no answer to Martina`s delicious bare

midriff serves.

      The final set saw Maria race into an impressive lead with her clinging, sweat-

soaked tee shirt.  Martina tried hard to get back into the game with some very

suggestive racket handle stroking, but in the end she had no answer to the lithe,

glistening, hauntingly beautiful, Maria.......   

Reviews
Cold shower?
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 4th July 2006
"she had no answer to the lithe,  
glistening, hauntingly beautiful, Maria.......  
Now then,woody,just take a cold shower and calm dowm. 
I think you have put into words the thoughts of many men as they watch the tennis 
A really funny and well judged spoof focusing on an area of the game that has been in the news. You kept the whole thing going building joke on joke. I could just hear this being done on radio 4-why not send it in (quickly though) 
cheers  
Mrs B
interview in the shower???
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 4th July 2006
now that would be a great idea... need anyone to hold your microphone for you?? 
 
more great writing... 
 
game, set and match woody!!

Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 4th July 2006
brilliant spoof news woody! the women at wimbledon have been told to cover up this year but as you make clear there is not much evidence of them taking note! 
 
brook
Love it
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 4th July 2006
Hi Woody 
 
Yes, I agree with BBS you most definitely need a cold shower...I certainly don't get any of this while watching Wimbledon...mind you I'm a girl so that's not surprising. 
 
Damn good writing, love these spoof things... Made my evening... 
 
Well done...fab stuff! 
 
best wishes 
 
mishmish
Bravo!
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 4th July 2006
Ace!  
 
Nice idea woody, I could almost see you sat there with a nice little pan-handle towards the end of it. Keep the crusade alive, we shall get our section yet my friend. 
 
Nicely done! 
 
Givitsum
Just couldn`t help myself...
Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 5th July 2006
Thanks everyone for the comments - and sorry if I made a bit of an exhibition of myself on court yesterday during Maria`s game....The hospital say I can come home once the sunburn on my arse has cleared up.... 
 
happy writing 
woody
Hello Woody
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 5th July 2006
It's all been said, thanks for a good and entertaining read, 
 
Brian 
 
(As you're a Tennis Buff who was it who retired claiming that Tennis no longer presented a challenge as she could and had licked all the opposition?)

Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 5th July 2006
Thanks Brian- I would guess Steffi Graf- but of course i could be wrong! 
 
happy writing 
woody

Written by coosh (863 comments posted) 15th April 2008
And not one Jonathan Ross reference to Hingis's "ranking". Loved the last paragraph - difficult to imagine it in the mouth of the great Dan Maskell, as the late Ted Tinling once said. Time for a rub down. Excellent stuff.

Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 18th April 2008
Thanks David. I must admit I`d forgotten this one so it was like coming to it anew. Good old Wossy, he`s certainly made a career out of his impediment. 
 
Roger

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