This piece was inspired by someone elses great work which is posted on the site.
It won't be everyones cup of tea
The angel of vengeance stepped silently out from the deep black shadow. Omnipotent, cloaked only in darkness. The ink that stained his skin provided a reminder of who he used to be. The tall, slender and lonely prince. Lost without his princess. Hungry not for food, but for retribution.
Then he saw him. His prey. Swaggering along the street. Oblivious to the world. Free from responsibility and blind to fate. Thinking only about himself - always himself.
Vengeance moved without hesitation. The blade flashed like wolves teeth in the moonlight. Ice cold. Razor sharp. Deadly accurate. Cold steel, scything through the cartilage that cowered around his windpipe
A fine bright red mist bursting forth as a scream was denied. A worthless life was coming to an end. He dropped to his knees, clutching the gaping smile.
Thick gouts of protein rich crimson filled the dirty pavement. ‘For my love’ he whispered as he watched the pitiful creature collapse into the gutter. Sheathing his blade for the last time, as his prey toppled finally into the filth where he belonged
Death glazed his ever widening eyes. Slowly rolling white, full of darkness as justice was served. The angels will surely sleep sweetly in heaven tonight..
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Very vivid
Written by tat_2man (56 comments posted) 4th July 2006 |
This was very vivid and in my mind I could see it all. Another peice of excellent work.
Tat |
Bad dreams
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 4th July 2006 |
"The angels will surely sleep sweetly in heaven tonight..
Well the angels might but I probably won't after that little gothic horror tale. I don't know why but stuff like that gives me the willies and I can't get it out of my head. You do this sort of stuff a little too well for comfort. I think I'm going to be nice to you from now on just in case
Great stuff
BBS |
Wonderful
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 4th July 2006 |
Leo this piece was so real, so accurate, it broke from the screen and displayed the scene before me.
Wow! Is all I can say...and thanks!
Fantastic writing, and very much my cup of cha!
best wishes
mishmish x |
Captivating
Written by alexis_grey (30 comments posted) 4th July 2006 |
Captivating and Spooky.
I found myself seeing everything in such clear detail, from the lovely flow of the sentences and the great description. Slightly gothic, I was a little scared, but stories that have such an impact are great reads.
Keep up the fantastic work, Alexis |
Hi, Leo!
Written by Bagheera (680 comments posted) 4th July 2006 |
I thought I'd left a quick comment here last night (Tue) when I read this piece, which BTW I found very powerful!
I know I've also sent you a PM regarding this, with a few ideas you might want to look at ... it's in my Sentbox, so I assume it arrived safely?
Regards
Bagheera |
Wow
Written by amy456 (25 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
| Seriously creepy. Well done! |
Written by Clifftown (619 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
| I didn't sleep very well last night. Maybe it was the heat, and maybe it was because I couldn't get this story out of my head. Very spooky. You have a talent for bringing stories to life! |
you've made an old man very happy
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
I really appreciate the kind words, I wasn't sure this was everyones cup of tea... but I did enjoy trying to put this together.
thank you |
Hi leo.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
It's all been said however the following questions were raised in my head:
What was the piece that triggered this off?
Why was he "ink stained"?
Was the use of the word prey, literal or metaphorical?
how had he lost his princess
Who was she?
Who was he?
An engaging read that left a lot of questions in my head,
Thanks for your time and reviews,
Brian. |
hello leo
Written by ellyb39 (79 comments posted) 6th July 2006 |
| well, feel quite worried to walk up to the pub tonight(!) enjoyed this, the tension was achieved so quickly, and i liked the 'vengeance moved without hesitation' Great! elly |
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 7th July 2006 |
a well crafted piece leo. as the others have said you brought this chilling read to life. A new style of writing from you leo, i admire you for exploring a different genre even if it has scared the living daylights out of most of us!!! 
kind regards
brook |
Written by pure_heartofmine (7 comments posted) 8th July 2006 |
i loved it!! very vivid... very real... real pain and emotion... i thought it was tragic as well, the angel of vengeance. to have lost and tried to gain it back... his love... very tragic.
the title is amazing as well. controdictory i think. angel of vengeance. has a great impact.
well done! one of my favorites . thanks!!!
Jillian |
Hi Leo
Written by jean.day (2266 comments posted) 12th July 2006 |
| When I came to find something of yours to read, I found this and was very impressed. You certainly know how to paint a picture. For instance,"Thick gouts of protein rich crimson filled the dirty pavement" It certainly did a better job than blood would have done. Good job. |
Written by anna_svit-kona (42 comments posted) 31st July 2006 |
It was very vivid and beatiful written. For the most part it flowed along easy to read but in a few spots the use of "he" makes it a bit confusing whether it is the prey or the predator.
Other than that it flowed along marvelously. I could see everything that happened. |
Just my cup of tea
Written by Sophie1 (12 comments posted) 18th November 2006 |
| Sharpe, gripping and precise. The imagery is vivid and I found myself absorbed in the scene. Fantastic! |
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