This is a reflex response to MishMish's poem about a dead bird.
Bird into pane, pain into bird.
Illusory rivals now dead.
Is life just a needlessly thin,
and arbitrarily snapped thread?
|
in memorium
Written by maipenrai (1006 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
| yes ! Brian,good,gives me a straight to the head/heart feeling that this could so very easily be life for all creatures ,here,snapped,gone finished. |
Thanks Maipenrai
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1436 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
For your time and swift comment.
Brian |
HI Brian
Written by jean.day (2908 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
| Just my sort of poem Short and to the point, but with lots to think about. |
Thank you BRN
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
I didn't think that my little poem would create such a reaction.
Your poem is strong and poignant and captures the same feeling of sudden loss...
Thank you and best wishes
mishmish |
Hi Jean
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1436 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
Thanks it's great to get such a response.
Thanks for all your time and reviews,
Brian. |
Hi MM
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1436 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
On occasion one writes something that sparks the reader off. Yor poem did that and without your's this would never have been written.
I'm delighted with your response to my piece.
Thanks for time and comments,
Brian.
|
green eyed monster
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
How come you can create such a profound and haunting piece of writing with so few words?
I'm so impressed.
and jealous....
Thank you
|
Ta Leo.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1436 comments posted) 5th July 2006 |
Another review to dream of getting.
Thanks for your time and comment, but without MishMish's poem, I'd never have written it and so I owe her lots.
Brian |
*clap*
Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 6th July 2006 |
I love the thoughtfulness of this poem. The lack of sentimentality adds to the depth of feeling produced. Well done  |
Hi GK
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1436 comments posted) 6th July 2006 |
Thanks for your time and comments,
Brian |
The smallest epic poem .
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (5082 comments posted) 6th July 2006 |
I suppose it's all been said but I must add that to go from a a dead bird and extrpolate out into an existential comment on the fragilty of life in just four lines is a real literary feat. Iv'e read it 4 time and I still don't know how made it flow so well. It's the smallest epic poem I've ever read
cheers
A |
Gosh
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1436 comments posted) 6th July 2006 |
Once again thanks for your time and comments.
With my accent there are 8 beats a line and originally it rhymed ABAB, but I abandoned the first rhyme and the poem seemed to somehow survive.
This is one of the few pieces I written that I'm really pleased with.
It's good to have you back,
Brian |
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