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Extended Work
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| Lorraine Part 9 | |
| By amy456 | ||||||
| 06 July 2006 | ||||||
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This really sucks, I did it in about 5 minutes. But I hope part 8 earlier makes up for it. Lorraine I took Megan to see a counsellor today. She was very good yesterday, but I was still worried about the fact that she hit Kirsty. Whenever she gets violent, you know something’s up. And the night before last, she was so strange. It was just. . . weird. I can’t explain it. In short, I was worried. Of course, Megan moaned about it – she hates discussing anything. I don’t know what she’s got in particular against Janice, though; I think she’s a lovely lady, she’s always got a smile for you. It’s so nice to speak to someone who’s cheerful when you spend most of your time around misery guts. And she’s £5 cheaper per hour than anyone else. I’m not quite sure how it went. I hope it was a success. At any rate, I have to at least try. Maybe just a couple more sessions. After Megan goes to uni, it will be a lot harder trying to get her to do anything she doesn’t want to, so I’m running out of time; it really is now or never. The only thing that really bothers me, is the lying to Steven. I can’t help but feel guilty, even though I know I’m in the right. When I broached it last night - about the counselling, I mean - he wasn’t too impressed. Little did he know that I had already made the appointment. That’s the great thing about Janice; she always seems to be able to accommodate me, even at really short notice. I had been quite careful with raising the issue as well, but none of it seemed to help. “What do you think about Megan attacking Kirsty?” I asked cautiously, when the children had gone to bed. “She’s obviously very unhappy.” “Mmm,” said Steven absently. “Don’t you think we should do something?” He looked at me. “Like what exactly?” I was silent. He continued, “You mean like talk to her, don’t you?” I told him about how strange she had acted the night before when I spoke about the top, and how I didn’t like it. He turned over his newspaper and said, “Well she obviously won’t speak to us then.” “Oh, Steven, how can we expect her to? Especially if we are the problem.” “Speak for yourself!” he retorted shortly, which I don’t mind admitting I thought was very unkind. “I was thinking,” I said nervously, “of taking her to speak to someone. Janice, perhaps.” Well, that sure got his undivided attention. He put down his newspaper and glared at me. “Lorraine! I wish you would quit with all this talking nonsense. It’s good old fashioned discipline she needs, not sitting around talking to some new-age therapist. It’s more than we can afford anyway.” “So it’s the money?” I said. “You’d rather save forty quid than help our daughter.” “But you’re not helping her. You’re encouraging her to think she’s got a problem when really she just needs to get out of her room, get some friends, and get a life.” “Steven!” I gasped. “How can you say that about Megan – or about me?” “It’s true. You encourage her in this stupid idea about mental health, like it’s some sort of excuse. You’re a bad influence on her. She’d be okay if it weren’t-” He stopped, but not before I knew what he was about to say. “I just think it’s a waste of money,” he said more gently. “It’s not like we haven’t tried this before. It doesn’t make any difference. If you think she’s got real depression, then take her down to the doctors again and this time, agree to the drugs. If they’re good enough for you. . .” He trailed off and shrugged. “You know I didn’t want her on drugs,” I replied hotly. “I’m only on them because we can’t afford the counselling for me as well. But we can stretch to it for Megan. I want to give her the best chance.” “Well, I don’t approve of it,” said Steven, more angry again. “Frankly I think you’re being ridiculous, and silly. I think this is your illness speaking. When I first met you, you never thought anything so irrational.” I left the room at that point. I wasn’t nearly so hurt as angry. He just doesn’t know what it’s like, for me or for Megan. He hasn’t got any idea. The things that he says sometimes, they’re so cruel. And you wonder why I don’t love him.
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