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Comedy
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| Man Apoligises | |
| By PaulE | ||||||||||
| 06 July 2006 | ||||||||||
Man Apologetic to Women’s GroupBARTON MILLS OH- Man admits that he is sorry for being born male. Cellular Phone salesman Stewart Kyle of Barton Mills made the statement during the monthly meeting of The Women’s Action Group (WAG) held at Deckard Junior College Library last Monday night. During a heated discussion of how men have ruined the world and never call when they say they will, Mr. Kyle suddenly stood up in front of the group of 14 women and one other man (William Restid) and deeply apologized for being born male and also stated that he apologized for all of his sex for their insensitivity, aggressiveness, hairy backs and a total lack of emotional intelligence. ”I wish that I had been born a woman, caring and nurturing, with breasts that could feed a hungry world. Further I want to apologize to all of you for all men, we are crass and are killers and all around horrible excuses for humanity. I am deeply ashamed of my sex.” “All of you, well except William (William Restid), are the life givers of the world, and if only men would listen to you then the world would be filled with love and beauty.” Mr. Kyle then sat down and began to loudly weep. After the initial silence that greeted Mr. Kyle’s heartfelt apology, Minerva Julian, WAG Treasurer, was heard to comment, “Just like a man, interrupting us in the middle of our discussion.” Other comments heard from the back of the room were “It should be hu-woman-ity, not hu-man-ity.” and “It sounds like he just wants some really big breasts to play with to me.” In the foyer after the meeting, WAG President, Jennifer Olenstein said she would Email everyone about the time and place for the next meeting, pointedly stating “I think maybe we will just keep it all women next time, oh, and William.”
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