It's Katie's first birthday today.  I cannot believe we have made it this far and she's still alive (and I'm not in a padded cell either).  Well done me.

It's six o clock in the morning and she's still asleep.  I've been up for an hour, it's just really exciting.  Honestly you would think it was my birthday.

I'm not saying it's been easy, far from it but we have done it.

Looking back over the past year, it's actually been really scary.  First of all COLIC whoever, tells you it stops at three months is lying.  Katie was nearly seven months old before it calmed down.  She still does get the odd bout but nowhere near as bad.  Everyday from 4pm untill 12am I would be pacing the floor with her.  Although a good tip to calm them down is to put the hoover on.  Honestly sounds weird but it works (ok I admit I blew two up but believe me to be able to go to the loo in peace is worth it).

Now she's a year old the paranoia is just as bad if I'm really honest it's worse.  She's crawling now.  Mobile babies are a nightmare.  It's amazing how fast they can move.  One minute she's next to me, the next she's in the fridge trying to eat raw garlic.  I know what you are thinking buy a child lock.  Well I have one.  It's really wierd, it takes me half an hour to open it but my one year old can get it in 30 seconds flat. 

What is even worse than that, is she can pull herself onto the couch.  Ok that doesn't sound bad right but why once she's up there can't she keep still.  I'm sure she's got size issues either that or she's blind.  She just can't seem to tell where the end of the couch is.  She keeps falling off and bruising her head.  After the sixth time I stopped going to casualty and invested in cushions.  Trust me it's a lot less stressful.  Just pile them around the couch as long as she doesn't bounce we're okay.  Although, she now finds it really funny and does it more often.  I just can't win.

I have to admit that the giggling is really cute.  When she first did it.  She shocked herself and started crying but now she's used to it and does it a lot inbetween the screaming.

She has the worst temper tantrums,  banging her head off the floor is a favourite pastime (this when the cushions come in handy again).  I hate to think what she's going to be like at thirteen.

Yeah, she's awake.  I've really gone to town (I know, she's only one) there are balloon's and banners everywhere with huge brightly wrapped presents.

"Hello Katie, come and see what mummys got for you"

She's crying, why?  I'm ripping open all these expensive presents and she's crying.  I really don't know what I expected, but why doesn't anything go to plan.  The paranoia is setting in again what have I done wrong.  I really think I am not cut out for this.

I give her a bottle and the crying stops.  She's smiling at me now and looking around at all her toys.

Bless her, she's amazing

Maybe, not that amazing, she's thrown the toy across the room and is sitting in the box wrapping the paper around her head.

I give up.  I need a cigarette