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| Poll Doll | |
| By BrianRobertNeal | ||||||||||||||||
| 09 July 2006 | ||||||||||||||||
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This is the middle part of a trilogy part 3 is I believe on this Website, as may well be Part 1-Plain Jane. The three are all about being "dealt a poor hand" and playing it well. POLL DOLL: THE UGLY DUCKLING WHO TURNED INTO A PARROT. The sad hook-nosed ten-year old girl stared in bitter disbelief at Uncle Brian’s birthday present. To think that he had given her a soft toy parrot. He knew that the children at school said she looked like a Parrot and cruelly teased her. It was life size and a bright red. The girl found it strangely beautiful but she was still angry and hurt. She threw it across her bedroom and it hit the wall. To her amazement she could hear Uncle Brian’s voice coming from the Parrot. It said “You can’t beat them then join them. Be a parrot, play parrot games get the kids to join in. They call you Polly; then make that your name. Come on Poll Doll we can beat them” The girl retrieved the toy and examined it, but no matter how hard she shook or prodded it: it would only make Parrot noises. Uncle Brian had also given her a book on Parrots and she became fascinated by them. She read it from cover to cover. At the weekend she made her mother take her to the local Pet Shop as a birthday treat and there she found a red parrot just like her toy. When she was alone with the parrot, she asked, “What’s your name?” The parrot replied, “My name’s Brian, Poll Doll.” and then he started to run up and down his perch. Poll Doll copied him and when the Parrot cawed Poll Doll cawed back. The shop owner and Poll’s mother watched in amazement, the parrot and the girl were in a total rapport. Poll’s movements were exactly like the Parrots not just similar but perfect mirror images. Unfortunately the Parrot was not for sale as it was normally quite vicious. The shopkeeper shouted out a warning to Poll not to get any closer as it might bite or claw her. Poll ignored him and gently stroked the parrot’s bill. The parrot in turn rubbed his head up and down the girls face. In a tearful voice Poll said “I love you Mr. Parrot.” The parrot replied, “I love you Poll Doll”. That night in bed she snuggled up to her Toy Parrot and she was sure that she wasn’t dreaming when it said, “Night, Night Poll Doll” and rubbed his head up and down her face. The next day at school she told the teacher that she wanted to be called Poll as that’s what all the children called her. At break when the children started teasing her, her response was to make like a parrot. She ran round the playground flapping her arms like wings and cawing. It was fun and lots of the kids joined in. They invented a game called Parrot Chase. One of them would be an Eagle who would chase any parrot that was not on a perch. They started as a flock, all stood on the school steps, then Poll would caw and they would fly to one of several “perches” dotted about the playground. The aim was to get to the netball post at the far end of the Playground. Any parrot caught by the Eagle turned into an Eagle. Then the pair of them would chase the remaining parrots: and so on. The game finished when the Parrots that had got to the netball post; got in line and then did synchronised Parroting. Other days they would mimic a flock of birds. Polly told them how Parrots flew up, scattered, then in formation wheeled and turned. If a teacher walked into the Playground they would mock mob them. The Head Mistress called Poll and the other “parrots” into her study and said “I want you to do a Parrot Dance for the School Christmas show.” It was the hit of the show and the parents and other children shouted for encore after encore. The act merely involved the children making like parrots, but Poll Doll stood out from the others. All of a sudden she started talking to the audience. “I want you all to stand up please” The Audience stood up. “Now I want you to tuck your arms in like this.” This they did. “Now flap your arms, shuffle about like me and then go CAW. This they all did. It was chaos. In the audience was Uncle Brian with her Toy Parrot. Poll was sure that it flew to her, but Uncle Brian said that he had thrown it. From that small beginning grew Poll Doll, Part Amazonian Temptress part parrot. Uncle Brian, who was a Theatrical Agent, developed her act. It was basically novelty stand up and she alternated between jokes based on birds and the irony of an ugly woman believing herself to be a desirable siren. One of her jokes was, “Me a siren, with a nose this size I’m more like a foghorn". She was visually funny and children loved her. She played heavily on double entendre but they were so subtle that no child would have picked up the hidden meanings. Pantomime at Scunthorpe Baths was her break through. Uncle Brian had written a new tale called Long John Silver and his Parrot. In principle Long John would try to do wicked things and Poll Doll would stop him. On the last night the whisper went round that the Crown prince and party were in the audience. There was a group of men in their mid –twenties who had come dressed as parrots. They were no trouble and made all the right noises at all the right times. When Long John and Poll asked for children to come up onto the stage one of the men went up on stage with the children. To the day they died neither could explain it, but the moment their eyes met something happened. He found himself asking if he could see her after the show and she found herself asking him to come to her dressing room the moment the show finished. At final curtain down, Poll said to Uncle Brian who had come out to the call of “Author”, “I’ll see you back at the digs, don’t worry, I’ll get a Taxi back.” She raced back to her dressing room but there was no-one waiting outside. She unlocked the door, closed it and then relocked it. A voice said “I think you are wonderful” It was the man who had been on the stage but he was no longer wearing his parrot suit. “How did you get in here” she demanded. The man replied “Well I used my influence with the Doorman and he lent me a pass key.” She, like the man was soon out of her Bird costume and in fact she was induced to go a lot further. Then she helped him follow her example. She might be a flat chested, scrawny, hook nosed horror but could she shag! She knew how to show a man what satisfaction truly meant. The pair of them then dressed and sneaked out of the Theatre. The Doorman was given back his pass key as they left. She then sneaked him into her digs and then out again in the morning. All of a sudden Poll Doll started to get “Prestige Bookings” and quality script-writers vied with each other to provide her material. Her beaux showered her with gifts and would phone her daily. Whenever he could, he would arrange for trysts, sometimes in her dressing room and on other occasions at discrete pied-à-terre. All of this happened under Uncle Brian’s nose. The pair of them were so discrete, not a whisper reached the press and both of them created an intense sense of loyalty in those who were a party to their “indiscretions.” So it was at the age of 25 Poll Doll was to top the bill at the Command Performance. Poll Doll had never been at the Palladium before, but as she said to Uncle Brian, I should imagine that back of stage is just as slummy there as anywhere else I’ve played at. They entered the stage door and she was right. This story is continued in Poll Doll the Star
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