experimental writing style please give me your views

Work finished we walk for a swift and in a walk about fashion, a swift changes to a few and we talk and laugh. Pints of comfort with coke. Let's walk... and we fill our stomachs with grease. More drink this time with a red bull and the minds start to become intoxicated, we move to the bar of wine and start on our first little sour number, after our second we no longer taste. The blues set up in the corner, one with a big beard and a trilby hat, one with a Mexican mustachio and a Hawaiian shirt bright like the sun, the little drummer boy hidden away in the corner out of sight, the other fat with long hair and shiny spectacles and glowing red cheeks. They begin to play as the Girl’s legs start to give way. hey man, Mr. ...scuuu... scuse meee...scuse meee... do yoo know that song G...L...I..O..Ray GLORIA!!! too much wine... by now at least four between three, Strange old woman shouts cos I touch her helium...Ger off that...Ok lady... They play Jimi and we start to dance, like jelly legged sailors in the discotech, And seems like he wants to start a fight, drunken, lost, leave me in a purple haze, HEEE'sss a Bastard And Sleazy, twat. loud in my ear, damn...*laugh* not so loud, I’ll go deaf, here have some more of this. pour, drink, guzzle, dribble, Wooo them bluesmen know how to rock, and shout GO, YEAH, WOOOO!!! GET IT!! Whhhaaat time iss it... oh about one, I go to the bar, get more bottles of sour grapes. Hey where’d they go??? they flow back and we all dance some more, the sweet one dances with me rock and roll beebop liquid brown eyes, such a bright and warming smile... rock and roll back and forth on her legs, nearly topples I stop her and she laughs in my ear. The bluesmen give us their last and it's time to go...You wanna go to the mill...no I'm ok It's 2.30 for Gawd sake. So we leave And. get the cab back home.

She tells me of her troubles of her man, of her kitchen, she tells me she's alone and wants someone who will listen, I tell her it's okay, she can talk to me, she has a friend in me, she wants to go back to my sofa. no listen you'll be fine in the morning... Listen girl if you ever need a friend...you can talk to me, you'll be alright, and she puts her arms around me and her head on my lap. She’s beautiful, I stroke her head. I'll wait till her head's not heavy with drink and talk to her next week. holding me tight, she starts to flirt a little. I start to laugh... wwweerr yoou llaughing at?...oh nothing, don't worry about it, wwweerr yoou llaughing at?... no nothin' honest, she gets closer eyes close to mine beautiful brown liquid eyes... I want to kiss her... but no, I can't, I'll wait until she is sober and talk to that sweet confident, charming soul... she deserves better, she deserves to be loved, to be cared for, to be treated like the beautiful soul she is. she starts to stroke my chest... I try and talk sense but I like the girl. You’re a goood man, let's get you home. Shittt!!! I can can't remember where I live , oh on the corner, she gets out and I light her fire, and kiss her on the cheek, I see you on Monday! Take care, goodnight. I get back in the cab and calm and coolly drive away... the rain make swishing noises on the tyres I reflect on what just happened, what will I do? Street lamps orange reflect on the wet tar mack. The cabby said I should have took her home and humped her... I tell him I ain't like that, and if she was single, I may have. I protest, pay the fare... he tells me I'm a good man and I forget my hat and walk the stairs to bed.

Monday all is forgotten... it plays with my mind... I have to say something.

My Mind Stops

We go to walk again on the Thursday, I go to speak but can't, too shy. What should I do? small talk. What a twat... just say something. tell her you like her.
My mind stops. The words I spent all week thinking about... just wont come out.
I drift off into a conversation about how to pour a pint of Guinness... my mind lost echoing repetition on the taxi situation... I must seem like I'm weird.

Friday the happy night.

We go with colleges to walk once more
Questioning myself... I have to find out? yes I do!
We go to the fire Station and I start to tell the taxi story
I am fishing, I wish to find out If she does like me the way she said, Is it just a caring face in times of trouble, bad times with her man. I talk and talk my mouth finally letting it all out after a whole week of not being able to blurt it all out. I tell her about her eyes, her smile, about how pretty she is, how she deserves to be cared for, how she should be treated like the princess she is.

We head to the bar of wine... holding hands, I smiling a Cheshire cat grin... I am happy. We hold each other tight and kiss under the velvety starlight, we wrap our arms around each other and I feel wanted, more wanted than I have for a long time. She wallows in the compliments 'tell me more - you make me feel special' "you deserve to feel special, you have the most mystical liquid brown eyes" 'More, tell me more' I'm lost in your liquid browns. We kiss...like lost children in the warm night. Lovers for one sweet happy night. We enter and sip our wine on the table from the Friday before. We sing and dance the night away dancing, yeah dancing hand in hand. The police play and the fat man sings with a stinging rhythm. The rhythm stops and we go in search of a place still open, I could stay out all night, A perfect night of togetherness, two adjoined from lost love, we find a perfect happiness in each others lost souls.

Eventually we have to leave the perfect night, and we jump a cab home. In the cab we hold each other tight. I feel my heart pounding my chest...she smiles that beautiful smile and I get lost in her eyes. We kiss and the ride goes on. I want the night to go on forever so I can spend internity in your arms, tight, close, feeling loved, feeling wanted again. feeling happy this sweet and perfect, Friday happy night.

Jazz Kisses

We go to our usual together, it can't happen again you said. We talk about making a pact not to let it happen again... I suddenly realise that both of us want it to happen again. I say 'what's wrong with spending time with me and having a drink... you're doing nothing wrong' 'we should just sit and smile together' we get close real close, and we smile and smile after smile flows in to kiss after kiss, ' I like smiling with you' 'you smile well' our hands link and we become entangled wrapped up in each other kissing madly like it would be the last kiss... tongues, saliva, lips cushioning lips, eyes looking deep into eyes...'how long can you stay out...' 'Oh not too late'. We stay longer and have another glass or two, it's Tuesday. Let me take you to see some jazz band somewhere... we go to the 111 club and quietly creep in. we grab some wine and sit and kiss while the jazz flows around us in an ooze, close like a humid night close like us arm in arm I kiss you again and we talk, turning again I realise it's another perfect night. We embrace each other kissing frantically again, tongues, lips, lips, tongues, saliva, and from mouth to mouth, each touch delicate and simple but more complicated than the earth and the stars and the planets. Each kiss special and intimate. Each perfect kiss highlighted by your big liquid brown eyes sparkling in the dim light.

'come back to my place' and you come.

We awake to sunlight streaming through the curtain less window, you get a taxi home and we head to work just an hour later. Cheeky smiles and inner happiness for the rest of the day. no one knows but us.

Trouble

I'm in trouble.
I know... I'm sorry.
It's not your fault. I had such a great time... but I have to be good for a while
I understand.

The Alarmed Building.

Once more we go together, and spend yet another perfect night. Liquid browns staring into baby blues. we want more time together, again we go the fire station and drink their spirits, kissing and taking look out for the man. we move from bar to bar until no more bars are open. We go to the lead mill and dance, the fat lady throws water on us and you want to kill her. I stop you, she was just too big, she would sit on you...fat bitch! We dance, no blues tonight just soul for our soul. what do you want to do? I can't go back to your place again, not tonight. I take a trip to the bank. We go the dark alarmed building and clear the desk. moving like rabbits, our knees begin to hurt, we leave our mark and take off in our taxi into the orange night.

Time for a voice

We go on the Friday, it has become our place. I live for Friday nights...the week drones on, walking about we stay for a long time and drink wine by the glass, we talk of family talk of likes and dislikes slowly getting to know you, we talk of the situation we find ourselves in, it's wrong but perfect, it would be more perfect if things were a little different, but what can we do... we get on in a magical way... only known you for a month but it seems like we have known each other so much longer. We spend a long while getting lost in each other’s thoughts and feelings... holding each other close and thinking of the future...what will happen? 'Lets go to trippets' you say, I put on my coat and finish my glass. We walk around the corner and go in and sit by the bar, you think I am unhappy... I don't like the situation I am in. I want more but can't have it. I want you but can't have you for myself... I come out of my thoughts and think about the now...the only moment is now and the way you live it is your life... some Wiseman said that once but I can never remember who...whoever it was he must have been mad, mad like shooting stars, shooting off like strange Chinese fireworks in the dark of the night. I hold you and tell you I'm alright, I tell you how I feel and how I want you... I have got myself in deep and you don't wish to hurt me, but you wish to spend beautiful, sweet, perfect time together, that's all we have time.

We go and sit at our usual table... sitting at it, rather than on top like we normally would. We drink our wine and I pour more from the bottle when the glasses become low. The band set up in the corner a stride away from our table in the half light. Turn the lights down low... I just want a little bit. We talk more about our ideals and aspirations, I talk about Alaska and a log cabin and living there alone for a whole year from summer to summer, through the long winter, recording everything day by day, through words, through Art and through music, writing a book about living alone, about looking into ones self, like a Buddhist monk taking a trip into the mountains to meditate. I am going to do it before I go... I'll do it as a piece of art! 'You’re mad, you'll come back like a mad cave man and never speak to anyone again, you'll hate to be around people, you'll end up crazy, like a wild animal, and you'll have a long beard.' I know, but it's something I have to do.

The band starts to play, modern Jazz with a touch of beepbop. We tap our feet and close our eyes and get lost in the rhythm, holding hands, kissing, close. Two cats dance wild rock and roll dance on the dance-floor we clap and scream and Wooooo!! and yeah, and alright!!! Go!!! such crazy cats, we watch them dance and drink our wine. we don't need to talk, we know, and it's good. The band play for a while and then go for a break and we talk some more, you talk about working in a florist, and I imagine you in a room full of flowers, beautiful arrangements of flowers and you are smelling them, as you smell everything. I kiss you neck and stroke your hair and breathe in your smell, and again get lost in your liquid brown eyes. Your hands grip mine and stroke and caress and I listen to your voice sweet and low in my ear. The band get back up and try to acquire a singer, three drunken girls get up and start to sing, tone def and all in different keys... no of them the same as the music. the band still play along jazz/blues notes flowing around the singers cat like song. The song finally finished I get off my seat and you wonder where I'm going, I go to the stage and clutch the microphone, ask the band if they know the song, said they do and start to play. I put a spell on you because your mine. You sit there proud, smiling the biggest smile and shouting to everyone close enough ' He's with me... he's my man' I sing ' Do I do I love you? Do I do I love you? all night!!! and you still smile. I get off the stage and sit back down by your side and you hold me tighter than ever, kisses, warmth, lovely sweet kisses, soft lips brown eyes, I run my hand down you legs and kiss you. 'Go and sing some more!!!' Go on! 'no no give the band some' and I kiss you some more. I finally get up and sing again, slow crooning blues in C, I improvise the words and tell the audience about the girl with liquid brown eyes, I'm singing to you everything else a blur, 'Brandy Makes me randy, but whiskey makes me sick, OH Yeah Brandy makes me Randy, oh lord that whiskey make me sick... before I throw it up honey come over here and kiss me quick' I ask the band if they know that beebop number 'Hey Boppa rebop' and they know it so I start to sing. The crowd dancing and shout hey and go and wooo and you sit there beautiful tapping your feet smoking a cigarette tell the lady next to you your life story and how you got to be in the crazy jazz bar with me on your arm. I get off the stage and get swallowed by your arms, I drown in kisses, voice croaky, I grab a beer. You a little drunk and me too well on my way. again another perfect night in your company. Again not wanting to go home, but another perfect day will come soon, I'm sure.

we grab your shopping from the alarmed building and get the cab home. Close in the back, wrapped in arms. Perfection.

When it all ends

Things so beautiful must go, running away like a cat in the night, out of sight and out of touch. The girl with the liquid browns has left the building, the city, the county, just packed her bags and left for good.

When it all ends it ends like a kick in the mouth. Sharp and painful. I need a drink...