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Poetry
Communion
By prosperity
28 April 2005
a poem about a special moment. 

                     

                 I heard your call
                 distinctive plaintive.

         
                 It was at Derrynane beach
                 blue skies early evening,
                 I braving the icy waters of the atlantic.


                 My skin pin pricked,
                 in the distant trees you watched
                 unseen "cuckoo cuckoo"
                 your magic wrapping its cloak.


                 I stepped into the water
                 your call in my ears,
                 nature inviting communion
                 a seal popped his head
                 his big eyes teasing my presence.


                 The coldness of the water
                 rushed, chilled my blood,
                 I stepped back
                 "cuckoo cuckoo" I heard
                 the seal came closer.

                
                 Coldness numbed
                 I ran dived in
                 you called out
                 as seal and human
                 swam in the essence of aliveness.
                

              


                 

Reviews

Written by spiderbaby49 (137 comments posted) 20th May 2005
and a lovely moment it must have been. Almost a holding of the breath in case you spoiled it.  
 
 
 
Have you left this largley unpunctuated on purpose, to capture that breath holding moment? It seems to come out all in a rush......no harm in that, but there are a coule fo places where a comma might highten the drama. 
 
Read it aloud and you might see whaat I mean. 
 
spidey 
:)

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