The women that I could have ravisished,
Whose feelings, I would have made run amok,
But I just had to keep me clothes on,
Cos I had an 'ole in me sock.


Woman are very particular,
Even when lost in orgasmic rants,
So I had to keep me clothes on,
I was wearing  "Desperate Dan" underpants.

There've been so many lost chances,
Of relation, rousing and deep.
It was for the best  that I kept me clothes on,
Cos I'm just a pathetic old creep.