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Poetry


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The World IsToo Much For One Day.

By Buchan

25 July 2006

So much going on in the World(not seen) Almost like "busy doing nothing ,working the whole day through." Trying to find lots of things not to do.

                                 The World is too much for one day
                                 Birds flying, blocking out the sun
                                 Flowers with no colours or textures
                                 Balloons bursting,with soft warm tears

                                 The World is too much for one day
                                  Since thinking children went away
                                  Changing values moving like mud
                                  Opinion a brave fact ,of a reality gone

                                  The World is too much for one day
                                   Looking like self centred cheese
                                   Never to be eaten,moulding on a plate
                                   Again the World turns,without movement.

Reviews

Written by 1leggedswan (9 comments posted) 28th July 2006

OK. I didn't like this.
But I've noticed i only ever seem to review the poems i like, not the one's I don't, so am going to try to be constructively critical here.
Please know, i don't dislike the whole poem, and I think some of the images are interesting, especially the balloons filled with tears...but i also think they could use a little work. Moreover..self centered cheese?
What?
Not quite sure what i can say about that. Except what?
Also while i have no problem with poetry thats written about something simple, with no real underlying message, just for the pleasure of the words, this doesn't feel to me like one of those sorts of poems. Yet i have no idea what, if anything, you're trying to say. A lack of progress in the world? "opinion a brave fact, of a reality gone" That line's just not very coherent or expressive.
Please forgive me for criticising, i don't know how personal your work is to you, but the luxury of the internet is that its the place you're most likely to get honest reviews.

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