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By 1leggedswan
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27 July 2006 |
um. introduction. ok
People, this is poem. Poem, these are people.
My titles are not good. Title suggestions will be welcomed with open arms. You are not to go; I quite forbid it.
I say it will not be.
If you don wings, and dance up to the sun,
Scattering white feathers in your wake,
I will throw myself upon your shoulders
And bear you broken to the broken ground.
If you turn, and turning then walk away
Up the dark green paths to wide bright spaces
I will throw rocks; I’ll conjure hail and rain
I’ll turn the paths to mud and grasping clay
To bring you back to me again.
I f you plunge away from me,
Down white cliffs to a glittering sea
I’ll plant sycamores in rock, to break your fall,
I’ll bind you to me with ropes and knotted cords.
I have no care, no thought, I don’t,
For the aching joy of flight. No, do not seek to leave; you are not to go.
I will not have it so.
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interesting
Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 29th July 2006 | Very nice writing- conjures vivid images. To me it is told from the view point of a jealous god, but as I'm only guessing, it would be good to know where you drew your inspiration from  | On 'Binding'
Written by Ninny (2 comments posted) 1st August 2006 | I thought this to be a particularly beautiful and very moving poem. I can feel the ache beneath it.
The writer knows the experience of abandonment or threat of abandonment - maybe as a little child...this fear has stayed with them into adulthood. It is possibly borne from a recent/current relationship in which one of the persons has expressed thier dislike of the stagnancy or boredom or stillness within the relationship? Or may the writer has been accused of being possessive, darkly possessive? in which case the images of sun, white...out of the dark...green....the stillness of possession are fantastic and one knows that the writer is indeed, whatever else, a very deep thoughtful person in his/her consideration of the other in the relationship
The imagery makes me take a gasp, in the same way as the fighting scenes in House of Daggers and I empathize fully with the desperation, any measure...to stop the person leaving. - If you try and will it hard enough, it wont happen.
I emphasize. I've 'been there'
I am not fond of the title. I would suggest simply "Dont go....Please". Or...."No! you can't go!" - which draws on a desperatly sad childlike note within the poem - which stays all through. Probably within the writer as an adult too.
This writer is exceptional.
Kind wishes, Ninny
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Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 2nd August 2006 | I think Ninny pretty much said it all! I enjoyed this very much. I am not good at writing poetry, however i greatly enjoy reading it, and i like to think i can spot a good poem when i see one.
This is very good in my opinion. I can tell because i get lost in the text and i get that feeling in my head when shivers go up your spine.
Wonderful Swan, so much can be read and taken from this. I'd do anything to write something as exceptional.
You're very talented.
Gill |
Written by MikeMorris (106 comments posted) 6th August 2006 | If you wrote this at one sitting I am amazed. If you revised it I am astonished, because you got it absolutely right. Not a word too many ; not a line too short.
I think this is the sort of poem Heathcliff would write to Cathy, or she to him. Superb. Many thanks, Mike |
Written by Thatllbemethen (83 comments posted) 29th January 2007 | Initially I did not take to this poem, but after each further read I became more impressed.
This has a Dylan Thomas quality about it and I don' t say that flippantly, I mean it.
Thanks |
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