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By anna_svit-kona
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28 July 2006 |
The sea lapses in and out. The sky gives birth with the light of a new rising sun. The waters start to glitter with the radiance. The waves make a splashing noise of turbulence. Everything is gorgeous, from the small shells upon the shore to the mighty crashing waves. The world iscool this early in the day especially with the ocean spray. All is quiet. Then movements break the silence.
She leaps onto the stallion. The horse looks back at his rider and snorts. Lets run! She takes him through the first few gaits. He is swift and agile in his movements. They’re going fast now, yet not into a gallop. He plays with the ocean waves. Dodgeing back and forth to miss them. He runs and splashes in the chilly salt water, soaking his rider and his pure white body. He leaps through the deaper water for a moment then gets out onto the shore again. His eyes are blue and sincere most often, though as he had leapt his eyes gleamed with mischief.
Her laugh rises crystal clear in the serene, silent dawn. He feels her joy, he tosses his mighty white head hard enough to topple a strong man over. His white hind legs reach out into the sky, his head to the sand. Muscles bulge beneath his soft skin. Then his light front hoofs reach to the sun rays, he glinstens all over as he stands up on his two back legs. The sun sets off his white watery flesh to crystal. She still hangs on, indifferent to his mighty movements. He pounds back to the earth. His neck lengthens out, long and stretching. Then he takes of! His legs beat upon the sand, reaching for more ground. His fast gait makes noises like the prettiest drums. Like the mighty rolling thunder. He charges across the shoreline, his pink nostrils hammering in and out, blowing hard. He is like the mighty Pegasus rising over into the dawn. Soaring out into the azure-blue skies. But now he is more than flying...he is faster. He is the wind...reaching to the ends of the earth, to the edges of the seas. He says to all who will hear him, come, come fly on me. |
Hi
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 29th July 2006 | A great piece of descriptive writing and as i adore riding, it really appealed to me. I felt like i was right there on the back of that beautiful horse myself!
I will say though that i think this could work better as a poem? A short story to me has to have some kind of twist or message and this was really just an expression of a momment.
I enjoyed it though.
Keep writing.  |
Written by anna_svit-kona (42 comments posted) 30th July 2006 | Thank you!
Yes. I agree Gill. It would be better as a poem but as I am not very skilled in poetry I decided to leave it in its story form. I have been thinking of coming up with a poem that follows it perhaps. If I do make one i'll be sure to post it!
I originally had "Eyes of an Eagle" & "She Rode the Wind" in the poetry area as well but took them out under someone's suggestion, considering they are not ryming poetry.
Thanks again! I always look forward to hearing about my writing!
anna | it's nice...
Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 4th August 2006 | i love the part when you described the beauty of everything because that's what made it so nice... i like it.. and i agree with gill21... it's better a poem, but if you can't you can't.... haha.. um.. it's nice as it is, anyway..
-rilLie
0_o |
Written by anna_svit-kona (42 comments posted) 4th August 2006 | | Thanks rilLie |
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