Jane stopped walking and peered forward, her eyes screwed tight in the face of the blurry drizzle. The rain was stinging her skin as it fell, even though it looked fine and delicate. The streetlights cast more shadow than light, making the gloom even darker. The few people that were out on this dank, dreary evening seemed to magically appear at a lamppost then vanish once again into the darkness until they reappeared in the next pool of sulphourous light. Jane had her eyes focused on two of these magicians who were walking towards her on the other side of the street. She had stopped next to the fishmongers, luckily not near any lampposts, so her presence hadn’t been detected. As they moved into their next oasis of light Jane could see their silhouettes more clearly and knew that she was right. She quickly took two steps backwards into the doorway of the fishmongers.

The door was recessed back and the adjoining window was empty of any display, save for a metal tray that would be filled with glassy eyed fish tomorrow morning. If she stood in the corner furthest from the window Jane could see into the window, over the empty display and out through the front window. This gave her a perfect view of the other side of the street and kept her dry and hidden.

She wiped her face and eyes with the inner, slightly dryer part of her coat sleeve so she could see a bit better. They were moving closer towards her. She shivered. Now she was sheltered from the rain and still she noticed how cold she was. She felt so stupid for coming out of the warm house.

As they moved towards her Jane realised how oblivious to her presence they were. She could clearly see the outline of George’s face now and it was Carol Matthews that was alongside him. George worked until seven in the yard.  Jane had thought it might be a nice surprise for him, to have her meet him from work unexpectedly, especially on a night like this. She had made such an effort, she had set her hair perfectly and put on a dress that flattered her swelling stomach. The baby was too big now to be disguised. She was trying so hard to make her marriage work. There had been no other option and, although she and George had hardly known each other, they had both known that they had to marry when Jane admitted what was happening inside her. Jane hadn’t expected this, or planned it, but it had to work.

Carol looked clean, streamline and organised. Her body and walk had a neatness that Jane knew that she had possessed but no longer did so. Even in the feathery, damp rain she seemed contained and together. Jane knew that even with her Herculean efforts she still looked tired, drained. People could see that her body was struggling. George and Carol were getting closer but not quite parallel to the doorway. Jane pressed her back against the wall. Even though he was her husband she felt embarrassed at what she had done by coming out tonight.

George and Carol were walking through the patches of light and darkness and Jane could see them appear and disappear repetitively. The rain was still driving down, icy and sharp. It seemed heavier and colder to Jane now. Neither of them noticed her. They were speaking intently but slowly, occasionally laughing and looking sideways at each other and smiling in tandem. Jane noticed that they weren’t rushing, even the cold, clammy air around them didn’t make them rush. Jane touched the walls behind her, grateful for the support that it offered he as her legs shook with the realisation. George was never like this around her. He was more alert, watchful not so peaceful.

George was her husband and he was the father of her child, their child. But Jane saw that he wasn’t hers and never could be. He was a good, honest man and he knew his obligations and duties and his love for his child, their child. These would be the rules that he would live his life to. But Jane was looking at a different man now, her husband, but not as she knew him. He was at ease walking with Carol, he was relaxed and enjoyed her company. They didn’t notice Jane as they passed within twenty feet of the doorway where she stood. They didn’t hear the rushing in her head, the change in her world that occurred as they passed her.

Jane knew that she was never going to want for anything. She put her hand between her buttons on her coat and pressed her palm to her stomach. It was warm and tender and vibrant. Jane inhaled, deeply and slowly, and paused before breathing out. Her back relaxed as she watched George and Carol move on. The baby inside her belonged to her and George, her baby, their baby. This was their connection and it would always be their connection even after Jane leaves George, as she knows she must do. She knows that he will never leave because he is a good man, a decent man and she knows she won’t leave for a while, because he is good and decent, but she knows she will.