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Shorts
After the Fall
By BrianRobertNeal
02 August 2006
Life can punish small errors severely.

AFTER THE FALL
Exhilarated by his annunciation, relieved following his birth and now distraught at his deathbed: surely it is a parent’s right to be outlived by their children? His wife has kept a constant vigil with me. She has become gaunt and wraith like. She’s cried out, says nothing and can hardly bear to look at me or the caricature of her husband that lies in the bed.

When he had gone into Intensive Care there had been a good chance that he would survive. We had even let his children come in to see him. That had been a mistake. His eldest had been upset; she’d asked me, “Why won’t Daddy talk to me?” I had said that “Daddy was very tired and he needed lots of sleep to get better”. They are now asking why they can’t see him again. When he had been moved from Intensive Care to a Private Room I had known that his death warrant had been issued.

Though I’d never had any doubt that he was mine, there had been a sort of comfort when I and his two brothers had found that our blood was compatible and transfused without complication. I’d told the medics to bleed me white. Oh if only life essence could have passed with the blood. I’d even offered God an exchange if he’d wanted another sunbeam he should take me.

My wife is inconsolable, for her blood was not suitable. She keeps repeating that though she’d given him life, nurtured and suckled him, she can do nothing. We are not young and the strain is too much for her. She’s collapsed physically and mentally and has gone home heavily sedated. My other two sons and their wives have been absolutely wonderful. Though neither daughter in law likes the other they have settled their differences and have worked as a team, looking after his two children, and now my wife.

On the bedside table are a host of cards and presents. The most poignant of which is his youngest child’s favourite teddy. It’s his comfort bear. You could never normally have parted the boy from it.

His Football Team sent a touching card, it said we won the cup for you; his cup winner’s medal lies in front of the card. His children send him letters, which I read to him. I also read him the Football results.

They’d had a collection at work and his boss had visited. He’d torn up a cheque and written a new one, which he’d folded up and stuck in my pocket. He’d told me that he was being prosecuted by the HSE, and that he was pleading guilty. He added that the bastard who had removed the scaffold boards had been given a sound beating. Big Soft Jessie had done it. The lads had had to drag him off the bloke or he would have killed him.

Thee lads had to call an Ambulance and then the Police turned up. When questioned it would appear that nobody saw anything and nobody knew anything. When Big Jessie had said he’d done it the Police told him to sling his hook and stop wasting their time. They’d added when the bloke regains consciousness they’d soon find out what had happened.

Big Jessie has visited, he said the lads had asked him to come in and see how my son was. He’d kissed my daughter in law and had said that she was to pass it on to my son, but she was not to let him know who it had come from. When Jessie had joined the firm the blokes had bullied and humiliated him.

My Boy had put an end to that. He had said “I can’t stand jessies but I hate bullying, so bloody stop it.” They’d stopped it though they’d kept their distance.

But now Jessie’s one of the gang, and when he breaks into tears the lads comfort him because he is doing their crying for them.

 The bloke that was working with him at the time of the accident is off work through stress and trauma. He believes it was his fault. He feels that he could have saved him; because he should have made my son use a harness and attach it to the safety wire.

 Some of the lads went round to see the Bloke and tried to put him right but he won’t listen. What could he have done, for the man’s a labourer and my son was the foreman!

The scaffolder who’d got to him following the fall had kept him alive, but for that man, he would have died before the Ambulance arrived. He’s been in, he said to me that he should have done better, but he was no doctor just a 1st Aider.

I’m holding my sons hand; his wife is holding the other: all of a sudden she becomes agitated and shouts, “No, no, no!” I look away from my son and towards her. I look back at him to find he is dead.

She explains that “I could feel him going and I couldn’t stop him”. I reply, “He’s been dead from the moment that he had hit the ground. We have been sat with a corpse that breathed.”

I press the panic button and a Nurse comes in. She checks for signs of life, finds none so she closes his eyes. She removes his wedding ring and gives it to my daughter in law saying “They often go missing in the morgue.” Finally she pulls the sheet over his head then bursts into tears musing “some of the Nurses get hardened to this, but she never will.”  She leaves us.

I collect his things up. The Medal is on a ribbon. I put it on the bear, so it does not get lost. I put the bear, the cards, the tins of sweets and so on into a bag. Two orderlies come in and wheel the bed out of the room and off to the morgue.

The Nurse returns and asks us if we have got our things together. If so could we leave the room as it was needed for another patient? She adds that one of us will have to sign a form. I look round and can see nothing of ours so we walk out and follow the nurse.

As we leave, a bed is moved into the room, an unconscious man about fifty is laid in it. His wife looks at me and says “He’s had a stroke, but he’s getting better, they’ve moved him out of intensive care. So he’ll be all right.” I smile and agree and wish them the best but I know that he has no more chance of coming out of that room alive than my son had had.

The Nurse takes us into her office. She gives me the form which I sign without reading. As I hand it back to her she says “the grief you feel at losing him merely balances out the joy felt when he came into your lives. What you are left with is everything that came in between. Grief must not be allowed to overstate its case.”

Reviews
understated power
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
Iv'e noticed that every now and then you drop one of these emotional stun grenades into the site. This was almost too painful to read. The lack of bathos made it even more moving;it wa so understated. It would have been so easy to go OTT with this but you gave the reader room to have her/his own feelings and they will stay with me for some time. A subtle and controlled bit of work. 
cheers 
BBS

Written by anna_svit-kona (42 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
It was truly touching.
Made me cry
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
A wonderful piece of writing. Normally when i am reading through text on this site i tend to skim, or at least read fairly quickly. I didn't with this one. From the first line i took my time to read each word. I took time to feel.  
A terribly emotive peice that actually made me cry.  
If someone has been lucky enough to never suffer through such a tragedy, it is most certainly their worst fear. You captured the tone just right and if this was a story wriiten from personal experience let me just say i am so sorry. 
As BBS said, you gave the reader room, it wasn't over the top and this story will certainly stay with me also. 
Well done :)
moving
Written by woody44 (774 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
A moving piece Brian. I don`t know if this was written from personal experience, and will not enquire further, but it was certainly written as if from the heart. 
 
woody
Thanks BBS
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
"What you are left with is everything that came in between. Grief must not be allowed to overstate its case.”  
 
An open message to anyone who has suffered loss through death, 
 
Brian. 
Thanks ASK.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
It has always "touched" an audience when it has been read to them. 
 
Brian.
Hi G21
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
Thanks for your time and comments. 
 
A rview to dream of, 
 
Brian
Hi Woody
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
This is not auto-biographic, thank god. 
 
But when my eldest spent a period of time working for a "cowboy" construction company, I did feel a sense of dread. 
 
Out of which came the story. 
 
I was at my father's death bed. The death scene is autobiographic, except substitute my mother for the daughter in law. 
 
Thanks for your time and comments. 
 
Brian
very fine writing
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
poignant, moving, touching, very real.. everything everyone else has already so eloquently said. 
 
a really fine piece of writing
Thanks Leo.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
This is 100% "conviction" writing. 
 
It's one of my favourites and i'm delighted at the response it is getting. 
 
Brian
Sensational writing...
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
...that I've read several times to take in everything.  
 
All the superlatives have already been said, and I doubt I can add more other than say that I thought this was one of your finest pieces of writing... 
 
It had power, emotion, presence and depth. I was saddened to read it, but found myself trapped in the words 'having' to read more.But it was an entrapment I was more than happy to endure!  
 
Absolutely wonderful... 
 
With best wishes 
 
mishmish x
Thanks MM
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 2nd August 2006
Another review to dream of. 
 
On another web-site this piece got slated. Though the criticism was based on poor grammar. 
 
It is probably one of my best pieces. It is one of those that I care about.  
 
In my working career I've seen lives shattered by a moment's caelessness, either investigating as an Inspector or a Liabiolity surveyor, 
 
Brian.

Written by Clifftown (619 comments posted) 3rd August 2006
“Grief must not be allowed to overstate its case”.  
 
This piece wholeheartedly embraced that sentiment; this story was told in a very frank, forthright manner, which didn’t overstate the case and that made it all the more powerful. 
 
Apologies for not really adding anything new to this review; others have said it all before me. But I felt I must write something to say how moving and real I thought this piece was. In my career I have witnessed the aftermath of many a similar accident and this was obviously written from the heart. Truly touching and very well written. 
Hi CT
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 3rd August 2006
Thanks for your time and review.  
 
A review is worth 10 reads particularly if it's positive. 
 
I 'm delighted that it has touched 7 fellow writers who've bothered to tell me so. 
 
So once again thanks to all of you. 
 
Brian
Hi Brian
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 8th August 2006
I really thought this was good. I enjoy reading your emotional type stories, and you do have the ability of getting down to the very nitty gritty of experiences that lots of people would shy away from.  
 
What happened to your humorous stories? 
 
Hi Jean
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 8th August 2006
Thanks, 
 
It is one of my faourite pieces along with "A gracious Saviour 
 
"What happened to your humorous stories? ", as Martin Alice would say, "err ehm well but the should all come back if I'm a lucky boy, 
 
Brian. 
 
After the Fall
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 13th September 2006
Brian, I have read this and understand exactly as we have been there. I think my husband is still "bleeding" inside from the dreadful accident which caused 98 per cent burns to his beloved brother, Brian. At that time people didn't get counselling to get over it - and for 30 years he couldn't cope psychologically. The first we knew about his accident was the story on the 9 o'clock news. Imagine the shock. This is why I say: When people write, they are not writing onto blank paper - people who read their writing have had experiences and emotions - and many people are still raw inside because of them - and I think that consideration for others should be a prime concern when writing. Why stamp on others feelings?

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