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| The Village under threat | |
| By Bottleblondesurfer | ||||||||||||||||
| 07 August 2006 | ||||||||||||||||
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I noticed patterjack bringing in a little fresh blood into the village. I thought I’d have a go. There doesn’t seem to be much happening in the village of late;, everybody there looks far too content, so I thought I introduce a little conflict to bring all the diverse characters together.. It was supposed to be a sort of cyber-soap after all---(I’m not sure if I’ve got the style of it right) A posh car parks outside the local shop/PO. A woman gets out and looks around with a grim smile on her face. She enters the shop. Mrs Nascent- Good morning suspicious looking hag. I’ll have a pack of 20 Gitanes, and please don’t ask me about my limp or anxious and furtive manner. Doris- I can tell you’re not from round here, m’dear. You’re not a local I mean Mrs Nascent - Well done Sherlock. I’m sure you’re dying to tell me why. Go on, is it the style of my clothes, the exotic cigarettes? Doris - No, You’ve still got opposable thumbs. Most of us lost them generations ago. It’s all the inbreeding. Mrs Nascent- That must be awful. Doris--To tell the truth we don’t miss them much, except for writing and masturbation. Mrs Nascent - Really ,but how do you manage…. Doris- Well, since young Chris came back he helps out around the village and we manage quite well without writing. Mrs Nascent -Right…. I see… And this Chris …where did you say he lives?. Doris- Later, m’dear. Now you’re here why don’t you tell me about the dark, dread secret you’ve been harbouring all these years. Mrs Nascent What? (now she’s rattled) Well, what on earth makes you think I have a secret. Doris- It’s why people come in here. I’ve not sold a thing for 5 years. Mrs Nascent But I hardly know you Doris- You’ve known me for 3 minutes ,that’s a long time in (dramatic pause). “The Village” (Sgt Bagheera the local Bobby and cannabis dealer walks in) Sgt Bagheera- Oh, Hello madam, I suppose you’re telling Doris your well kept secret. I’ll come back later..Wait a minute that’s a nasty limp you’ve got and you’re looking a bit anxious to me. What’s going on, here? Doris- She was just asking about Chris. Sgt- I’m afraid there’s a bit of a queue there now, especially since he learned that new Malaysian technique. But I’m guessing you haven’t come here for a quick wank. Mrs Nascent- All right, you’ll know sooner of later. I’m from the Council. Sgt- I knew that limp looked familiar. Mrs Nascent- Well as you know, there is not much life in this Village and frankly we need the space, so we are going close it down and level it for a new reservoir Doris- Over my dead body Mrs Nascent- Do you want to be buried or cremated? Sgt- You wait till Fr Connelly hears about this, you’ll be limping with both feet. Doris- That’s a good idea , Baggie. You’ll find him in the woods showing Tanya some sights of special interest. He’s a great nature lover. Sgt- I’ll go then, You’ll see; we won’t take it lying down, you know. Doris-Well apart from Fr Connelly, that Tanya is a terrible gossip. Sgt. When Brook and the others hear about this, you’ll have a fight on your hands. No-one messes with the village. (to be continued)
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