|
Great Writing - Home > Comedy > Cabbageman and the goblet of fire
| READING ROOM | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| COMMUNITY | |||
|---|---|---|---|
|
| ABOUT GREAT WRITING | ||
|---|---|---|
|
| WORK AWAITING REVIEW |
|---|
|
| WHO'S ONLINE |
|---|
| We have 1198 guests online and 5 members online |
Comedy
| print friendly version | |
| Cabbageman and the goblet of fire | |
| By paulwalker | ||||||||||||
| 10 August 2006 | ||||||||||||
|
I always get in trouble from my huge and loyal fan base for not posting these adventures more frequently, how many times have I got to say this, a professional writer is a busy creature, I try my best. Anway this latest installment is perhaps the most emotional so far for our hero, many have said its the best yet, without being too modest, I may be inclined to agree. Sit back dear reader and enoy the genius that is...Cabbageman and the goblet of fire.
Cabbagemans alarm went off at 7am as per usual. Without opening his eyes he reached across and switched off the alarm.
Cabbageman enjoyed savoring those lovely ‘in between moments’ between waking and opening ones eyes. It felt to cabbageman that in those times anything was possible, that he could awaken into any fantastic and miraculous scenario.
Perhaps he was a pirate captain in his quarters aboard a swarthy vessel, bound for a treasure island. Maybe he was a handsome prince, his fair maiden resting sweetly in the bed beside him.
Knowing it would be just another mundane day he would awake into, but enjoying the fantasy anyway he afforded himself a little grin and slowly opened his eyes.
The first thing he saw was a large and brutally cruel knuckle duster as its smashed into his face, causing his nose bone to fragment into tiny pieces and a stream of blood and gristle to explode from his face. He barely had time to register what had happened when the fist pounded again into his head, this was followed by another and another as sounds of anger and violent intent filtered through the blinding mayhem of agony and confusion and found his ears.
He felt himself dragged out of the bed as a size 12 doctor martin connected sharply with his rib cage and another met his genital region with equal force.
Poor cabbage man, he wasn’t exactly the most popular chap in the neighborhood, due largely to the repugnant stench of rotten cabbage that hung in a 12 meter radius wherever he went. On this occasion a group of drunken youths had taken it upon themselves to enter cabbage mans abode (after a night of glue and alcohol fueled japery) and administer harsh retribution upon his form.
The blows rained down relentlessly and were soon complimented by a range of knives and stabbing weapons before the coup de grace, a twelve bore shotgun, was wedge into cabbagemans throat and its contents offloaded through the back of his head, leaving a sad pile of mutilated flesh splattered up against the bedroom door.
A fine old caper cabbageman has got himself into this time and no mistake!!
Stay tuned for the next excitement installment, Miami Cabbageman, as our hero attempts to take on the criminal underworld single-handedley.
Only registered users can rate and write comments. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
||||||||||||
 Previous item
|
Next item
|
|---|