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Shorts
The Farm House
By funkygekko
25 August 2006
My first post!  This was an exercise in trying to set the scene and description - trying to see if I can convey to a reader what I am picturing.

The farm house at the end of the dirt track lane had stood alone for many years.  We used to ride our bikes along the unused gravel and peer through the murky cobwebbed windows, trying to snatch a glimpse at what had once kept this house alive.

We were its only visitors, keeping it company as the paint flaked from the window frames, dust filled its living room shelves and birds made messy nests in its eaves, knocking more slates loose as the spring months went by.

We imagined ghosts staring sadly out at us as we scratched our names in the dust by the broken gate or noisily played war by the huge oak tree, overgrown paddock and slimy, oily water butt.

Our voices echoed around the desolate hallway as we dared one another to shout through the letterbox – short, nervous bursts of sound the only thing to cross the threshold.

We never knew who had once lived there, but the house never protested against our imagined versions of its fate – crazed murderers, mad old women, witches, trapped children.  It remained solid, grey, but proud, defiant of its neglect. 

We were its only guests - children with scuffed knees, pockets full of stones and sniffing noses.  And even we left it behind it eventually.

Reviews
Alive?
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 25th August 2006
It certainly worked. I didn't picture the house so much as an object, but as an almost living entity. This, I think, made it effective. 
 
Phil.Code:

vivid
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3352 comments posted) 25th August 2006
I think it worked. I knew what I was picturing as I read it,though it may not have been what you were picturing. 
Does that matter? 
Igot a sense of place but as there was only sketchy description of the house I focussed as much on the children and their reaction to it. Most kids know a house like that. It worked as a sort of "rights of passage" piece for me, part of the wonder of growing up. 
Very vivid 
BBS

Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 25th August 2006
A lovely piece of descriptive writing. I am SURE what i picture is not what you pictured when you wrote it. It never is. Nearly everyone, faced with the same description, will see a scene different to another. It's fairly subjective, but you set a style and tone in the description well (as BBS said about the children). 
Well done!
wicked name!
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 26th August 2006
Great stuff. I was able to place myself in the scene. Vivid is the right word. Welcome to the site. Look forward to more writing very soon. 
 
best regards 
 
Leo
Interesting
Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 26th August 2006
Welcome aboard! I will echo the same things said above by BBS, Gill and Leo...very vivid and it kind of takes you to that place. I started feeling for the house. The last line was heartbreaking..."And even we left it behind eventually"...Good job 
 
Regards, 
TT 

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