If I had more time I would perfect it. And just in case any of Andrew Marvell's [posing as Christopher Marlowe's] lawyers are looking in, my real name is Patterjack. Literature is so complex. My fondest compliments to you all.
Had we but world enough and time,
This coyness Sweet'st Fruit would be no crime.
But at my back I always fear
Thyn disappearance drawing near.
Stay! Linger! Tarry! Stop awhile!
And add to every hoot and smile
From thyn vast array of honey'd words
Ripe as Zeus' steaming turds
Dropped from Olympus' dazzlig height
To become 'The Book of Shite'
Whereby every poet measured be :
Palgrave's Golden Treasury!
Let Silver Vergil thyn Bucholic
Bless. And laud the frolic
Thyn muse hast worked. Salve! Peerless Wit!
Immortal Goon! Monstrous Tit!!
Pat the Paltroon. 1657.
[ From the O' Doggerel 2nd Folio Collection KIT 'N ANDY'S UNMENTIONABLES ] Available from all Good Adult Booksellers. Price: Short of a Shilling
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ho and ho again
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 28th August 2006 |
Poor old Marvell cops it again ! ( I ,to my shame for years , would read that line as This coitus , mistress , is no crime ! )
Perhaps Dean Swift , with his delicate nose for ordure , could
join the admiring throng !
patterjack |
TOO BAD....
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 28th August 2006 |
Hello Brian.
Yup. Kit cops it again.
If, unlike Andrew Marvell, he could have just stopped writing the works of Shakespeare, he would have been OK!! But he just couldn't leave it alone, could he!? He just had to carry on and create English Literature!! No wonder he made a joke out of himself. His last work. Harry Potter and the Sixteenth Century Best Seller is the last work scholars have attrbuted to him!!!. And here's the punchline : He never made a penny!!! Some bastard topped him in a Canterbury pub in 1599!!! UNLUCKY OR WHAT!!!???
Slan! |
And....
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 28th August 2006 |
T' all yous dumb shysters what can't write 'n spell... th' writer, right? 'ees th' geezer what wrote th' fing, right!?
Quality, soldier. Quality!! Andy Marvel. Diamond Geezer!!Right!? Right. |
Touching..
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 28th August 2006 |
Well, I have never seen you moved to dedications and preaching the gospel of St. Chutney before GC old chap, but perfectly understandable under the recent circumstances, i.e. His resurrection.
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Andy's Kit
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 28th August 2006 |
Not just Eng. Lit. mind you -- that Kit had a hand -- or something -- in Don Quixote as well . He frequented enough tavernas in Spain to spend many an hour with Dulcinea -- before ending it all with the glorious line ... * 'twas in another country .. and besides , the wench is dead * ( probably , in Dulcinea's case , of the Spanish Pox )
patterjack
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Stone me Brian...
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 28th August 2006 |
Jesus!! I had no idea th; bastard invented Spanish as well...Well... Well...And I thought those windmills were....well......
Slan! |
Truely remarkable.....
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 28th August 2006 |
Thanks Chris. I just couldn't leave it alone. But what else has he got up his sleeve!? That's what I want to know. I am truely in awe. In awe.
Which reminds me. I haven't seen hair or hide of the Rivers woman either of late. Last time I got a word from her Chaucer was in vogue.
Slan! |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3291 comments posted) 29th August 2006 |
| I think you'll find that he wasn't in vogue but in Cosmopotitan "Chaucer claims Christian Allegory can improve your sex life" It was an interesting article but fundamentally flawed |
Neopolitan Geoff..
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 29th August 2006 |
Bugger!! I missed that one! Here's yer Man thinkin' he was just in VIZ.
Thanks Jane. Grand concept.. Interview with Geoffry Chaucer in Cosmopolitan. Jeeze them copies would be sailing off the shelves. All them smart women, etc. Have you still got a copy....?
Slan! |
Now he's getting down and dirty
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 29th August 2006 |
Chaucer and Christian Allegory eh ?
The dirty old man must have been reading the Song of Solomon . Left Tamar and Bathsheba has he ?
Onan next , I suppose !
patterjack
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Loved it!!!
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 29th August 2006 |
But now 'cause I laughed so much...I've been banned from accessing GW at lunch time in the office.
Apparently my strong guffaws offend the more sensitive mortals around me.
That's your fault...now you owe me!!!
Anyway, completely fabulous, flawless and fine...as is to expected from you, dear Gerard.
Well done...
best wishes
mish x
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Hi Gerard
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 29th August 2006 |
Very impressive. I feel kind of at a loss when trying to think what else to add. Such flowery words for such a common subject. But good fun.
I owe you so many reviews now but must make sure I can think of something more intelligent to say about the others. Thanks for your plethora of kind words. |
Eloquent.
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 29th August 2006 |
Thanks Jean.
Only you could use a word like plethora.
The review was worth it for that.
Slan! |
Tickled.
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 29th August 2006 |
Thank you Michelle.
I must say I was tickled pink that people thought it worth a comment. Lunch break doodle. But its back to work this week. Serious paid work.
Slan! |
Diamond geezer.
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 29th August 2006 |
Brian,
You classical allusions are the highlight of this piece. Its worth logging on just for that. Patterjack!? Quality, my son. Sweet as a nut. Proper quality what's wrote proper!
Slan! |
Classical Illusions (sic)
Written by Talisker (1320 comments posted) 30th August 2006 |
"Ripe as Zeus' steaming turds" ?
If I'm not mistaken, is this line not lifted straight from Ovid's Arse Amatoria? The original line was "mitis ut Jupiters' fumo humus!"
We will not stand for blatant plagiarism!
Oli |
What a Rissole...!
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 30th August 2006 |
Sadly, My dear Talisker, I fear you are singularly ill informed. Since as all of erudition will instantly recognise, I was , of course, referring to the legendary Zeus Riley, whose brother, Milo, kept Pollux Bollocks, off the Donnegal Road in the late fifties. Zeus could, believe me, pipe 'em like a Mexican donkey and gained some fame as the originator of 'Rileys's Ravishing Rissoles'. I have not tried them myself but I am told they had a certain aftertaste. I believe the term is ' pungent' .
My compliments to you. |
I sit corrected...
Written by Talisker (1320 comments posted) 1st September 2006 |
The similarity in form and function dear gc was clearly a mere coincidence. I bow before your greatness and encyclopaedic knowledge of the post war romano-celtic renaisance in Hibernia Romana.
Assole rissoles indeed? Perhaps not the food of the Gods. I'm off to bid on Sid Barret's bike.
BTW, pass my regards to your uncle Billy.
Oli |
Sid Who?!
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 2nd September 2006 |
Thanks Tailsker.
Sid Barret!?.....Now there's one to get tongues wagging round the fire...
Slan! |
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