I'm getting quite into this poetry malarchy.

This is to be read as if from a woman, (guess there's still a bit of Gywnn in there somewhere) and to try and avoid any abuse, I've even put a soppy ending. Also, there's deliberatley no punctuation as 1) I don't know where to put it and 2) I'll get ribbed if I put it in the wrong place.

Baby, You're A Little Swine

Oh baby of mine, head bald as a coot
To think you were started, via a quick drunken root
When I hold your wee hand, it makes me so happy
Except when you've first had it stuffed down your nappy

I admit, since you came, free time has been sparse
All the feeding, and winding, and changing your arse
Waking up in the night, and those loud screaming fits
Not to mention the mess that you've made of my tits

My varicose veins, only started since you
Left my legs like a map of the M62
All the excess skin, now hanging round my tummy
Can't get out to the pub, for my darts and gin rummy

My jeans' now too small, 'cos I'm piling on weight
Long gone are they days I could say I'm size 8
But still, you're here, you're sweet and you're mine
Even if sometimes baby, you're a little swine