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Shorts
Culture shock
By Gill21
31 August 2006
Less an attempt at 'great writing', more of an observation....


Beep beep beep be…
Lyn turned over groggily and smashed her fist down on the alarm clock.

It couldn’t be 7am already.

A tentative peer through sleep encrusted eyes confirmed that it was.

Gracefully swinging her legs out of bed she padded over to the bathroom, her pert bottom sashaying from side to side, switched on the shower at full heat, and closed the door. She liked the room to be ‘sauna esque’ before she entered.
Twenty minutes later, cocooned in a fluffy terry cloth towel she opened her wardrobe and selected her outfit for the day. Knee highs, pleated mini and cotton capped sleeved shirt.

Once dressed she brushed through her long mane of golden hair, slicked red gloss to her pouty lips, stood under a shower of fragrance then stood back to admire her reflection. Staring petulantly at her ‘stippled’ thighs she swore to stay off sugar that week, picked up her bag and headed downstairs an out of the door lighting a fag on her way.

*

Two floors down, Kimmy was sitting at a solid oak desk, littered in papers and enough stationary to fill a store, scribbling furiously and cursing impatiently. She reached out to grab her mug of coffee, muttering revision notes under her breath. Caffeine and sugar fuelled, her hands trembling like a Duracell bunny, the mugs handle slipped from her spindly fingers, and spilled its contents all over the table, and the cream carpeted floor.

Dizzy and worn, she slumped to the kitchen for comfort.

Shovelling mounds of chocolate chip ice cream into her mouth (and reminding herself to throw it up later) she heard the door bell ring.

It couldn’t be 8.15 already could it?

Searching in panic for her watch on the table, she saw that it was. Giving in she yanked her leggings up, pulled her belted waist in tighter and answered the door to Lyn.

*

Three blocks away, as children played with skipping ropes in the street, Nic was lying lazily across his bed, naked, and grinning like a Cheshire cat. Puffing inattentively on a joint and still revelling in the night’s events he pushed an empty bottle of Smirnoff from his bedcovers with his foot, a g-string slung round the neck.

Noticing the time he glided into action.

Switching off the play station, and clearing the mess from the floor (mostly empty condom packets, he reminded himself to buy more) he swaggered into the shower.

*

‘Hey’ said Kimmy acknowledging Nic distractedly.

‘Hey Kim. Hey gorgeous.’ Nic swung his arm around Lyn and replayed last night’s events in his mind, feeling his insides stir once more.

She simply smiled and penetrated his eyes for a moment. Perhaps they could slip away later.

Just then the bell rang.

A voice hollered,
‘Come on kids don’t loiter please. Get inside and gather for assembly!’

Kimmy, Lyn and Nic grunted at their teacher in response, and shuffled inside with the others, all of whom were chatting rapidly on their mobile phones, listening to their MP3 players and nursing last nights hangovers and come downs.

School was such a drag. They were sure high school would be better.


 

Reviews
Response?
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 31st August 2006
I feel this is a response to, 'A child asks why.'  
 
I know you were uncomfortable with it as a topic. This piece makes its point very well and is less disturbing for its use of satire. 
 
Well written, 
 
Enjoyed it. 
 
Phil.
sort of..
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 31st August 2006
I actually started writing this before i read 'A child asks why', and although i found the piece difficult to read, the central issue was there. 
It's terrifying how much todays environment if affecting youth. Children are growing up far too fast.  
Thanks for your kind review Phil :)
I agree
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 31st August 2006
I totally agree with the kids growing up thing, the only thing is that once i say it out loud, i feel like victor meldrew. 
 
neat piece. take it easy gill.
Generation xxx
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3445 comments posted) 31st August 2006
OH dear; Gill every parents nightmare, I think. 
A sharp and cynical bit of writing and my repsonse is what ever happened to childhood. I suppose their answer would be "Hey. like,we don't do childhood"  
A well judged piece 
BBS
Leo and BBS
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 31st August 2006
Thanks for your kind reviews. Leo you feel like Victor? The other day i was having lunch with my parents and i actually used the phrase  
'I can't believe kids these days.' like i was my grandmother. i am 21 years old!! It is terrifying how much has changed in ten years. I can't bear to think about the world my children will be brought into. I could rant on about this for ages (anyone seen that film 'Kids'. jesus). 
Anyway, thanks you two for your time and comments!
Good
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 31st August 2006
I like this, shouldn't have read the reviews before the actual prose 'cos that kind of spoiled the end! Nethertheless I thought this was nicely written and thought provoking. 
 
Elli
God save parents
Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 2nd September 2006
This could so be the toughest thing on parents...poor things...where did they go wrong...hehe....and Gill things are not all that bad...so take a deep breadth...things are gonna be fine...but what the hell would i know, i am a guy after all..hehe...Good piece...makes u think and i hate thinking...no jus kidding...don't worry. 
 
Regards, 
TT
Short, but strong.
Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 9th September 2006
I liked how you took the reader from one place to another. Especially how you related the places to eachother. It could realy imagine a camera flying from one location to the other, showing all the action. That, combined with the short, fast style made it very movie-like :grin

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