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Non-Fiction
Mommafest '05
By eggie
07 May 2005
Two Warriors.
One Referee.
One Battle.
WHAM!
The true tale of two couragous warriors...
BAM!
And their momma's...
KER-SPLAM!

This is Round 2. Round 1 happened before I agreed to be the moderator.

Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
*Blows whistle*
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
bring it on BIATCH
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
k ladies first
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
but men before so i'll start
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
yo momma so fat she uses pillow cases for socks!
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
That's 3 fat jokes in a row, Alex.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
no its not
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
half time
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
I'm deducting a point.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
that disqualifies it until the next first fa
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
*fta joke
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
wtf you gotta be joking!
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
alex they are the rules
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Don't argue with the ref. next insult.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
okay okay
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
alright
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
your turn BOY-OH!
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
He's alreasy been. The clock is ticking.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
haha
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo mama is so hairy she makes bigfoot look shaved.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
bring it on
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
no hairy jokes in the game yet
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
double points surely
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
haha whered you get that one?
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo' momma so fat her first word was "oink"
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
wot the fuk thats horendous
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Alex. Only ha;lf a point. Rob, you get one and a half.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
haha
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
oink oink
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
better than your crappy dime one
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
c'mon its your turn
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
i'm waiting to kick yo ass punk
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon (it was a small rok)
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
boooooo that sucks!
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Contradiction. Deducting hal;f a point.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer!
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
1 point.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
2 ponts surely!?
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Are we going to have trouble, soldier?
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Alex is leasing 1/2 a point. Your move, Rob.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
k
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
haha i'm winning
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
and i just thought of a killer joke!
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
9
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
8
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
7
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
6
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
5
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
ONLY I MAY DO THAT.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
sorry
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
-1 point.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
it looked like fun
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
NOOOO1
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
what the hell is this!
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
Yo Mamma So Poor that your family ate cornflakes with a fork to saev milk





themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
ther u go
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
...you goota be kidding
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
big gap for added laughs
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
theres gotta be a rule against such shit
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Half a point. Do better.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
yo mama so poor burglars break into her home and leave money
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
2 points. Alex is back in the game.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
but if they're a burglar
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
technically it means they have to take somehting
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
SHUT THE FUK UP ITS A JOKE
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
1/2 a point to Rob.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
ahhhhhhhh
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
haha
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
lol
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
hahaha loooser
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
yo mama so poor she can't even afford to go to the free clinic
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo mama is so fat, she put on a yellow raincoat and all the kids yelled, "here comes the school bus."
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
1 point to Alex.
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Rob, no extra points are awrding for insulting when it isn't youer turn.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
boo-yah
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
well yo mam is soooooooooooooooo so poor I once threw a stone at a garbage can, and out she popped saying - "Who knocked???"

Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
l
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
haha
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
THREE POOR JOKES!
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
mymomma is groucho
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
dam ur good
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
nice call alex
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
whats the verdict?#
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Alex now leasing by 2 1/2 points.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
get in!
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo' mama so nasty, she went to the barber shop, unbuttoned her shirt, and said cut my hair!
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
poor effort
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Just about worth 1 point.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
yo momma so smelly even the search dogs won't smell her.

Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
rob you're losing it man
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
you started so strong
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Rob, 1/2 a point again. If you won;t to have any xchance of winning this I suggest coming up with some better material.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
im still rokkin
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
okay robwe can refer to past jokes that alex never saw as long as you said them
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
no no u cant
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
fine
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
it was for your benefit
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo mama's so poor that when your house caught on fire, she got up on the roof and sang, ''Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we have heat!''
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
You really can't. If i knew that was going on it would be instant disqualification.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
i shou;d get extra for rhyme
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
1 1/2 points.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
OOYAH!
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
yo mamma smells sooooooooo bad that standing next to a skunk, the Skunk smells sweet!
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
1/2 a point. Rob.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
haha alex i have a new one from our HELMO discussion earlier
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses Tickle Me Elmo for a vibrator.
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Hmmn. 1 point.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
yo mama so old  when I asked for her ID she handed me a rock

Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
hha
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo Mama is about as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Not bad. 1 point,.
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Alex, 1 point too.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
to who?
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
yey
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
yo mamma is so old she has a first edition of the ten commandments
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Yo mama is so dumb, she thought a ribbed condom was soul food.
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Rob: 1 pointAlex: Need clarification
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
kkk timeout
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Okay.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
i rekkon we shood hav 1 more round of 3 insult each
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
k
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
BUT
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
and then we alex will call a winner
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
these insults aren't no longer bout the momma
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
its become too personal
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
its now at each otehr
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
hahahahahhaa
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
oh ok
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
bring it on
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Current scores are Alex: 11
Rob: 7
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
ok lets flip fo who goes first?
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
wot ??????????????
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
i cnt win
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Rob has the lowest score. He goes first.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
lol
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
 
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
looser
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
In this competetion I can award up to 5 points.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
and what do points meen
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
??
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
The person with the most points get a virtual trophy.
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Are we ready?
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
yep
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
*Blows whistle*
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
bring it on bitch
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
alex alex alex you are sooooo ugly your shadow left you
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
hahah
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
You're so poor, you have a big hole in the wall of your box and call it air conditioning
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Scores will be revealed after competetition. Next insult.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
go on rob
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
unless youre chicken
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
5
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
4
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
3
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
ok ok alex you hav wooden breasts that you feed beavers with
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
robert robert robert...You're so ugly that, when you were born, the doctor didn't know which end to slap!
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
thats shit man
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
5
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
4
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
time guys
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
mum wants me
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
alex when you were bron they  knew wot time u were born coz ur face stopppes the clok
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
k who won ??
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
3 each ??
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Alex still has one more insult to give.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
oh yeh
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
k back
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
You're so stupid, your mother told you to go buy a color television and you asked, "What color?"
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
ooooooooooooooooooooh
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Ooooooooooooooh
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Rob, you foight well in these final rounds. But you didn't use your best material in the early stages where it really could have made a difference.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
ha
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
yeh
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Alex, you took a few liberties with the rules. Any more anmd I probably would have disqualified you.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
so alex loses yeah ??
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
But at the ends of this mighty contest.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
no
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
The final scores are...
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Alex: 15
Rob: 11
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
drum rols
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
SO CLOSE!!!
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
yey
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
kicked yo mother fucking ass poster bouy
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Drum roll was late. You're lucky I don't deduct another point, Rob.
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
                                                                                                                                                                            .
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
well played alex
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
u deserved it
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
good match
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
sorry bout all thats stuff i sed bout ur mum
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
me too man
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
rematch in science
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
yeah well try we need some time to stok up
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
im done for a whil
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
metoo
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
And thus concludes this tale of warriors. Until next time, remember, kids.  No momma feelings were harmed in the production of this contest.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
haha
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
hehe yep
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
Alex...did it ver ccur to you we're the only ones who watched this
themilkybarkid77@hotmail.com says:
cheers ref u kept it cleen and a good match
Eggie_Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear... says:
Not for long. I'm putting this on da internet.
Squib_Who loves Orange Soda? says:
lol

Reviews
wanted to read it
Written by kevinrobson73 (441 comments posted) 5th June 2005
too much like hard work 
in that format 
can you re-jig it so it can be read please?

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