An experimentation in slam poetry, highly influenced by the genius of Taylor Mali. Inspired by the story of a gifted class who were told they would never get into Cambridge without 10 A*s at GCSE level.
Snob
Standing at the front of class
With your shiny
"I-went-to-Oxbridge-fourteen-times-and have-a-degree-in-theoexogrativital
electrotribitAtion-do-not-even-THINK-about-messing with-me
you-slimy-scrawny-scum"
badge on your chest.
"And now class, we have a very special guest with us today"
Here to tell us about the way life's going to work, according to the
Lord, preaching to his peasants,
Bourgeoisie to the proletariat
Dastardly to Muttley
Here to tell us "rassum brassum msblsssl..."
And it takes every scrap of wisdom
you crammed into your effected skull
from all your years of learning and experience,
To come here and tell us:
"Of course, you'll NEVER get into university without
20 GCSEs at A*
3 PZMBQs...wombat
A HBSA in Thingymakookerygig
10 ABCDEFGHIJKs
And 2 MSKJs to the level of ThaaaaAAAaaaaaarg."
Smug. What you think you're saying is that we shouldn't even bother.
It's a waste of our time
We don't even get math!
But what you're really saying, Snob,
Is that there’s a lesson we've learnt already
That five billion YEARS at Oxbridge won't teach you, Snob
It's a dangerous thing, to say NEVER
Because no one's mind is better equipped to turn that NEVER upside down
FOR EVER
Than the student you tell not to make the effort.
Because you find them
Pushing a little harder
Reaching that bit higher
Just for you, Snob.
Think about that.
And one day you'll see us do the same for others,
Making sure they NEVER hear "NEVER"
So that they'll reach even higher, and set a new level,
And the people who say "NEVER" will NEVER pass that level, Snob.
Just imagine it
You've started the revolution.
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Written by michaelangelo (13 comments posted) 2nd September 2006 |
wow i love this, a lot of attitude. particularly like the way it ends!
nice one |
Not for me.
Written by Talisker (1320 comments posted) 2nd September 2006 |
Poetry slam indeed! Only in the good old US of A could trash like that pass for poetry. Attitude perhaps (a bad & intolerant one). Logic, none. Words, kind of. Anger, apparently. Poetry, never. Sorry if this offends you.
Must we suffer the forced americanisation of this last bastion of civilised culture. I for one will resist.
I not only don't like it. It offends me. Is this the intention? To what end? If there is actually a point to make, it could be made much more clearly, and certainly with more eloquence. Its utter shite.
Oli |
Written by chic_leo (15 comments posted) 2nd September 2006 |
And there are also more eloqent ways than that of putting your point of view across!
I will always value your feedback, but you've shot yourself in the foot a bit there.
There has been a problem with the formatting - when I posted it, it was not as one paragraph, so something's gone a little wrong there, but the wording was my own. I'm sorry that you found it offensive, and that is never the intention of any of my work, but in some ways I will take it as a positive thing that my work has provoked such a strong reaction. Like I said, a shame that your opinion had to be conveyed in the way you chose. |
Off topic
Written by Talisker (1320 comments posted) 2nd September 2006 |
Chic-Leo
I suppose that your respose to my tirade is quite measured really. I apologise, your post seems to have struck a raw nerve somewhere - I usually take a deep breath before reviewing.
In all honesty though, even given time for mature reflection, I feel that your post is off topic i.e. not poetry. Off-topic posts always piss me off.
Oli. |
Formatting
Written by nascent (106 comments posted) 2nd September 2006 |
Hi chic_leo,
Ihe issue with formatting in this case is you have intentionally made one 'word' out of the first line which is too wide for the page and the web page is just treating it as you have written it. In order for it to fit in the page width, you will have to put a space or two in there.
cheers,
nascent |
Written by chic_leo (15 comments posted) 3rd September 2006 |
Nascent - thanks for the tip, everything seems to be working properly now.
Talisker - no worries. Don't take it as a personal attack if I continue writing stuff like this in the poetry section - I feel that it is a form of poetry, but I can understand completely why you don't, and that's OK! 
michaelangelo - thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed it. |
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 3rd September 2006 |
Ok, i sense you have some anger issues? I enjoyed this actually, but not as a poem. I read it like a short peice of prose. It was far too loud for my taste. I like my poetry with a little bit of subtlety, however it was brave and different and that certainly made for an interesting read!
I loved the title, the way you literally attacked the 'snob' and i was with you every step of the way. You got your point across. Although i didn't take it very seriously. It was a bit of satire for me, with a bit of humour thrown in.
The last line was particularly apt.
Well done.
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Written by chic_leo (15 comments posted) 3rd September 2006 |
I found your comment really interesting, because you're by no means the only person to have compared slam to prose - I think it's a thin line, certainly.
I've only started to write poetry in the last couple of months, so I'm still finding my voice, and at the moment all my influences are "loud", so that tends to be the nature of the poetry I produce. Perhaps it's just a phase, but at the moment it feels pretty comfortable.
As to how the point was made, I think it too comes down to me being pretty new to this - I think I was probably trying to criticise through satire, but maybe I need to think about how that's conveyed in my poetry.
Thanks for the constructive crit, anyhoo. |
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