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By rilLie
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03 September 2006 |
I am not God, that I should prevail.
I am not God, that all seas I could sail.
I am not God, that I could fix any mess.
I am not God, that I could fix your distress.
I'm not the one who has cupped the wind in my hands.
I'm not the one who can take all the lands.
I'm not the one who can bound up waters in a cloak.
I'm not the one who can make it all work.
I'm not the Lord, that I mark out the ends of the earth.
I'm not the Lord, that I could sense all your mirth.
I'm not the Lord, that I could count all your breaths.
I'm not the Lord, that I see all your hairs.
Why, I'm just a human, bound as a snail.
With the simplest of tasks, I miserably fail.
Who am I to gain so much wisdom?
Who am I? I'm still so utterly dumb.
I am the most stupid of men, hiding behind a shield.
The only things I can make are things of steel.
But He, alone, can make the world go round.
In Him, alone, will we be safe and sound. |
I Am Not God
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 3rd September 2006 | | Why haven't you written your poem line by line, with the lovely rhyming words standing out at the ends of the lines? Your thoughts were lovely. | sorry.
Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 3rd September 2006 | there's this typo thing that's happening and i can't fix it!!!! i'm trying to edit it with p's and br's as of now.
cheers.
-rilLie
0_o | fixed it!
Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 3rd September 2006 | yey! thanks, by the way, Josie!!! Comments always welcome!!!!
The review button is your friend  |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 3rd September 2006 | I was enjoying this right up until the last two lines. One or two lines grated a little, like - bound as a snail - but I found myself racing towards the end. However, I found the last couplet a bit of a cop out. This perhaps reflects my own theological flounderings and other readers may react completely differently.
I suppose it is Sunday, so a small sermon can be forgiven!
Phil. | reviews are welcome.
Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 3rd September 2006 | s'alright. i think that happened because i was inspired at the first part, and then i was reading this fanfiction i can't get my head out of. anyway, that was it. thanks!
the review button is your friend.  | Wow.
Written by LuiNahtzi (5 comments posted) 11th September 2006 | That was amazing. I really enjoyed how you played out the weaknesses of your average human being, because the wording was really really really REALLY good. The title, too, was simple and a little obvious, but at the same time very meaningful. I guess a lot of us forget that, we, indeed, aren't God, so this poem is a great reminder.
Aiya, you could make this a song, 'Lizzy! (Why am I being so serious all of a sudden...? O_OU) |
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