My second contribution, thanks x

How to get jeered at by a hangover

Firstly, you have no choice.
Your hangover will wake up with you
It will accompany you throughout the day
A loyal, devoted companion -
   Or

Perhaps I should attempt
To paint this thing a brighter colour –
Your hangover will cling to you body and soul
Like a ferret with locked jaws

You are blessed;
Get used to it
Forget about going back to bed –
And make creative use of it

But avoid direct sunlight –
For even in late February
The sun will burst forth like a blazing fork
Of violence
On the very day of your hangover
Just for you
‘Cause you’re special –
And your hangover loves you
It wants to be friends with you
So be sure to treat it right

Your ears will hurt;
Each and every simple sound
Your common or garden everyday sounds
Will rain against your skull like falling anvils

Accept them
They are a message, a blessing
From the fairies of toxicity
That you rescued from oblivion
With that very last glass

Your hangover deserves respect;
So treat it to a cup of tea
Or a codeine tablet or three
Washed down with a bacon sandwich
And a packet of cigarettes –
Ignore the advice of family and friends
Their taunts and jibes are detrimental
To your hangovers needs –

You are its mother,
You are to nurse it, not curse it
The hangover observes your aching flesh
As another form of worship
So flatter it, please it and delight it –
But for god’s sake don’t try to fight it
 
If you bought a lottery ticket
And won the jackpot
Would you dare to complain about it?
   No

You wouldn’t, would you?

Your hangover should be honoured
With the same amount of logic;
You didn’t force it into your life
As it kicked and begged and screamed
For you to leave it alone

It did not take you by the throat
Whilst holding a pistol to your head
Saying ‘drink this, bitch, or else!’

However, you could always try to convince yourself
That it wasn’t your entire fault -
You’ve been under so much stress!

Well, your hangover couldn’t care less.