A ‘Pome'

After four weeks of campaigning they've been counting votes all night

And in Harlow, Essex, they'll keep counting till they get it ‘right'

In Wallasey, an ex-TV star also wants a recount

She's hissing: "Postal votes are missing!" and she wants them found!

"You know that less is more!" says Toothpaste Tony with a grin

"It's true I got less votes, but I still claim a bigger win!"

A hundred seats or so have disappeared overnight

But I've still a majority, my plan is watertight

And by the way: from now on, call me "Mr. President"

It rolls so nicely off the tongue and makes me feel a ‘gent'

All over Europe, that's the title all my best friends use

So now I'm asking you to give me that grand title, too!

You thought you'd seen the last of him - he can't see you at all!

But no! - our ex-Home Secretary must play a mean pinball

Five months ago he had to go (he couldn't keep his pants on!)

But now he's back (it's good to be back!) advising on Work and Pensions

One politician at least has done what's right

Though some claim he shows "something of the night"

Yet Michael Howard chose to fall on his sword

On failing to lead his troops to victory assured.

"For Brutus was an honourable man ...."   

                               W. Shakespeare