On his way to his first morning's work at the Manor , Peter passed the craft shop just as Jane was taking in Ernie's morning milk delivery.

-- Hi there , he called . What do you think of my new clobber ?

Jane stood, with head cocked and grinned as she said:

-- Blimey, I wouldn't have recognised you in that get up !

-- Not Savile Row , I know , but it's all they had in the shop at my price.

-- You look like you stepped out of a Constable painting! Shame they didn't have your size.

-- Constable !! Strewth -- I wanted to get to the store to buy the gear before I went to see the young copper , and then I forgot all about him. Oh well , it ' ll have to wait . And as for my size , it's all that sun and good tucker in Oz. It makes for a growing lad.

After another glance over the rather odd get up Jane opined :

-- Well it should go down well with Lady Nascent.

-- Doesn't matter a lot to me whether it does or not . At least it's practical .

-- But as a quick summary , what do you think about her ladyship, then?

Jane took a moment to consider,

-- I ' ve only met her a few times. When she looks at me, I have to fight a childish urge to stand up straight and keep my arms at my sides like a schoolgirl.

Peter nodded agreement .

-- She does seem to have a bossy air about her . I think I can wear that . But do you have any ideas on what I should avoid ? I don't want to put my foot in it. by some silly mistake .

-- I'd say just try not to annoy her.

-- Ill try not to , but for the sake of argument let's suppose I do.

-- Hmmm... Well I'd say don't make any sudden movements or try to appear larger than you really are.

Peter snorted with laughter.

-- The trouble is we don't have real blue blood types back home. Oh , we have the rich squatters and graziers but they aren't getting it all their own way at the moment . There are some who think they're aristocrats but the nearest we have to royalty is Dame Edna Everage -- and she's a man.

-- I don't think you're taking this very seriously. Most of the village are in awe of her, Even Father Connolly.

-- Really ? And you ? Do you take her seriously?

Jane sighed . -- Well, I'm Irish. It's taken eighty years to free the south of the English gentry and they're still hanging onto the six counties. So yes , we take them seriously.

She put a hand on his arm .

-- But that goes no further than the shop or I'd get tarred and feathered.

-- It's safe with me , he promised .

-- There's a lot I don't understand about the English. I mean theyve still got a Queen for heaven's sake. Strikes me as bloody feudal.

-- Hey ! Isn't she still queen in Australia? You chose to keep her.

-- Some of us did , in a referendum rigged by the conservative party . And maybe a lot of us only did that to piss the old girl off. It means she's forced to come out there now and again and get back-slapped by a few crawlers. You can see she hates having to be there.

-- Looks like we're both resident aliens here, trying to fit in.

-- Hell , said Peter , looking at his watch .

-- I'd better shoot through for now , but I?ll know where to come when I need a dash of sanity!

And he set off for his first day at the Manor.