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Poetry


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scab

By arrowsmith10

05 September 2006

still needs work any comments and criticism greatly appreciated =)

Scab

You are like a scab,
You come around when I hurt myself.
I know you’re good for me,
But I resent your presence.
I sit and pick at you,
Wondering why something so ugly
Is so necessary,
I Will you to disappear,
Fall off at the wayside,
Then I will be healed.
Sometimes I make you leave early,
Underneath I am still raw,
You need to return to protect me.
When I force you to leave,
A scar is left,
A constant reminder of my impatience
My stubborn disposition,
Reluctant to accept your help.
I am fragile,
Easily cut,
So you are always around.
My omnipresent scab.

Reviews

Kind of works...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 6th September 2006

Hi Arrowsmith

I think you call this analogizing. I pity the poor scablike individual who has been thus reduced to a bloody crust over a sore. It doesn't sound like a great basis for a relationship.

Thought provoking though. Thats what its all about after all. So well done!!

Oli

Ditto
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 6th September 2006

This kind of works for me too although I do wnoder whether yopu've pushed the analogy a couple of steps further than it can take. Perhaps editing out some of the more obvious scab references and leaving the reader to make the links might be a good idea. With a little tidying up though and a slightly more subtle touch in places I think this has a potential to be a good piece. And, as Oli says, definitely thought provoking.

Well done

Elli

again...
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 7th September 2006

ditto, i'm jumping on the bandwagon here. I like the idea under it all, but could be more subtle. It's all subjective though.
Well done

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