Long, long ago in a...

Okay, so like a really long time ago in outer space a really, really, really, huge meteor (and I mean really huge, now I see what you're thinking and it was much huger than that) began its journey. The journey continued for thousands of years as the meteor came ever closer to its final destination. During the long voyage, the meteor developed strange properties. Yep — there was some really strange real estate on that there meteor.

As the behemoth rock endured the long arduous trip, squashed into third class with no leg room and wearing its surgical stockings so that it didn't get DVT, it eroded and lost a great deal of mass. Part of this was due to being bashed by the air hostesses' trolleys. On the final approach to Earth, the original meteor was but a fraction of the rock that had left the planet Confuzzle. The meteor streaked towards a group of teenagers standing in front of the stadium waiting for a concert by their favourite band, Bloody Smooches, to begin.

'Ow! My eye!' yelped one of the teenagers, whose name was Keith Art. 'Something just landed in my eye. My eye, I tell you. Would you take a look at it? It's really bothering me,' said Keith, while staring wide-eyed at his friends and blinking.

'What? Don't be so dramatic. We were discussing our science project and how ... how ... I can't remember what it was,' said another of the group as she giggled.

'I'm con-con ... well, not really confused ... more fuzzy. Hmmm...' said another in the group.

Keith blinked a bit and grinned. 'Never mind, it seems to have gone away or calmed down.'

'Um,' said the girl through another fit of giggles. 'Would this be a good time to ask why you have a nice, healthy, greenish glow?'

'Of course, I'm only mildly radioactive today, and you?' answered the young man with a big grin and a few blinks.

'Come on, the show is about to start,' said one of the friends while indicating the time on her watch.

The next day at school, the friends were working in the science lab. The chemistry teacher wrote instructions on the chalkboard before leaving the room. The instructions seemed very complex. This particular chemistry teacher had quite a reputation for perfectionism.

Keith added the various ingredients to the beaker over the Bunsen burner. As Keith was finishing step 10, he realized that he had misread a line. After hesitating for a moment, Keith continued, while hoping that it wouldn't make any difference if the ingredients were a bit out of order. When he got to the last step, Keith turned off the burner and put away the other supplies. After he had cleaned his work station, Keith began to transfer the contents of his beaker into a container. His experiment was the only one that seemed to have turned to a dry dust instead of a paste. That was worrying.

The chemistry teacher noticed that something wasn't quite right. She motioned for Keith to bring his experiment to her desk. Keith carried the container to the teacher's desk while trying to think of a way to explain where things went awry. The teacher snatched the container from his hands so fast that a cloud of dust rose from the container, which made the teacher cough a couple of times. Without warning, the teacher's eyes slid in and out of focus a few times as a smile crept across her face.

'Well, you did your best, so you get 100%. I've never noticed those lovely green flecks in your eyes,' said the teacher to everyone's amazement.

'100%, she must be joking,' said Keith's friend John.

'I know. My eyes don't have green flecks,' answered Keith.

'Um, yes they do,' said the girl on the other side of the table as she handed Keith a mirror.

'Well, that's new,' said Keith as he looked really closely at his reflection in the mirror.

'Hey, what did you do to your experiment anyway?' asked John.

'Not sure, I think I swapped a couple of steps and ended up with this instead,' said Keith as he opened the container. Then, he noticed John's eyes sort of slide in and out of focus.

Keith had noticed the effect of that science experiment on both the teacher and his friend, John. He wondered if there might be a good use for something that made people feel so distracted that they would instantly forget whatever was making them tense. The idea of helping people was very appealing. He went to bed thinking about his future because the next day would be Career Day.

Career Day at the school was always rather boring. The same information was there every year. Keith had seen the brochures before. Nothing was interesting. Still, he had to be interviewed by the guidance counsellor like everyone else in his class.

'It says here your name is Keith Art,' said the guidance counsellor.

'Yes, sir,' replied Keith.

'I've read your file. What type of career have you considered?' queried the guidance counsellor.

'Comic book hero,' answered Keith.

'You mean cartoonist?'

'No, I guess I meant, um... law enforcement or something,' spluttered Keith.

The guidance counsellor handed him a few brochures and a couple of forms. ,As Keith left the office he could not help but feel that the meeting did not go well at all. Instead of turning in the forms from the guidance counsellor, Keith decided to work towards a chemistry degree. The idea of solving the puzzle of that 'failed' experiment that was worth 100% motivated him to focus on his studies.

Somewhere far, far away, on a distant planet... well, ok, I lied, it was two blocks away, but it sounded good, didn't it?

Unbeknownst to Keith or anyone else, the Dark Lord, Rational, was attempting to take over the universe by forcing everyone under his power to use facts and logic... cold, hard facts and rigid logic, thusly, leaving no grey area for emotional reactions. Early in his rise to power, last Tuesday in fact, he had persuaded a talented psychiatrist, Dr Samuel Ane, to assist him in the removal of emotions from the world. The now-corrupted psychiatrist is known as Dr Sane. His mission: cure the 'insanity' of patients who feel things too deeply. It said so right there on his business cards. The dark cloud of seriousness was spreading across the universe, or at least across the table at the diner.

Meanwhile, on the planet Confuzzle, chaos and silliness abounded. In other words, it was business as usual. The natives of the planet Confuzzle are a bit unusual. A Confuzzlite is incapable of thinking in terms of black and white. In fact, they operate on such a level of fuzzy logic that it makes them incredibly compassionate, warm, fuzzy, cuddly and very silly. They also grin a lot. It may be something in the water.