I am not a poet but thought I`d put this up for Brook`s topic..A Chance Meeting
Feel free to castigate me...
She says is this chair free
I reply there is just me
She orders herbal tea and cake
I say hello my name is Jake
She smiles and bites her nails
I say I`m biking in the Dales
She thanks the waitress with a shy grin
I fumble with my sandwich tin
She smooths the crumbs from her lips
I bend down to replace my cycle clips
She pays and leaves a tip
I watch with lust her swinging hip...
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Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 8th September 2006 |
i think this deserves a post, it made me smile! Although the flow could do with some work.
hope to read more of your writing!
E |
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 8th September 2006 |
| Maybe not a fantastically literate and well structured poem but who cares i still really enjoyed it, made me smile! I liked 'i fumble with my sandwich tin' hehe so sweet. Made me think of it as a bit of a period peice actually. Great attempt! |
Thanks each...
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 9th September 2006 |
Many thanks Journey and Gill for the comments. I have to admit to writing this a little tongue-in-cheek. I find so much poetry pretentious and inaccessible (not here of course!) That is why I love Betjemen because I can empathise with most of his work.
happy writing
woody |
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 9th September 2006 |
| Sorry.Sir John...better spell the dear man`s name correctly hadn`t I! Betjeman... |
came back..
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 9th September 2006 |
| for a second read. I enjoyed it more than i thought i think hehe. No you are completly right, alot of poetry is just that. Sometimes less is more! |
Written by Phil (6832 comments posted) 9th September 2006 |
Enjoyed this. It's fun and as Gill says it hints at perhaps 1950s Britain. (Did they have herbal ,tea then?)
I particularly liked mention of cycle clips and all the connotations that brings.
Phil. |
thank you......
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 10th September 2006 |
....for you lazy writers contribution.
I agree with Phil's comments - an enjoyable read
thanks
brook |
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 10th September 2006 |
Thankyou Gill-again, Phil and Brook for your kind comments. I don`t think they will ever ask me to be Poet Laureate but I enjoyed it, and I might even have another go! I`m afraid it will all rhyme though...
happy writing
woody |
Oh Woody
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 10th September 2006 |
This is just great. Beauty and the Nerd.
Mind you've noticed that they dont like rhyme, scansion or meter, but Woody you can't be perfect.
Brian. |
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 10th September 2006 |
Oh come on Brian..at least it rhymes...and scans pretty well..and as for meter...
happy writing
woody |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 11th September 2006 |
I must admit I like this tongue in cheek stuff. Have come back for a second read and a sly smile 
Fab!
Elli |
Written by Sophie1 (12 comments posted) 18th November 2006 |
| This poem reminds me of a little cafe along the Middlewood way. Love the tongue in cheek attitude towards poetry. As a Literature student who endures hours of pretentious waffle, this piece is a welcome relief! |
Basic stuff....
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 19th November 2006 |
Thank you Sophie, and welcome to the site. I hope you have many happy hours here! I write very little poetry, and what I do is pretty naive. Thanks once again and good luck with your studies...
happy writing
Woody |
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