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| Healthy Thinking | |
| By JourneyAtNight | ||||||||||||||||||
| 08 September 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||
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This is just a little light-hearted piece. See what you think. My title is a bit weak, so if any of you could give any suggestions i would really appreciate it! xxx Nancy was now screwing her face up into some expression that was (as I came to discover the following moment) supposed to convey her excitement. “Oooooooh!” Squealed she, “This is so EXCITING! Honestly darlin’, you’re going to LOVE it here!” I tried not to look too terrified and smiled as she continued with her tour of the gym – “And look! Drinking fountains!” - Clap Clap Shriek Clap. Oh dear God. Well I guess I had to hand it to her, the woman had enthusiasm. She also had a way of you not wanting to disagree with her for fear that she take some sort of fit there and then amidst the treadmills. I suppose it was a good thing really; it meant there was no escape. It meant that I would have to join a goddamn gym! Yes. I would become one of those regular gym-goer type people who thoroughly enjoyed and looked forward to their work out. I would do a catwalk out the door after work with my gym bag and water bottle and drop comments to my colleagues about how a couple of hours exercise is just what I need after a hard days work and they would all aspire to be like me with my healthy routine and active lifestyle. I would also have gym buddies. We would compare notes on our day so far while toning our biceps and bitch about that snooty one with the melon-sized calf muscles who always hogs the weight machine. Oh and all the staff would love me too – we’d all get on brilliantly, even Nancy would grow on me and we’d become the best of friends. Ok, for the sake of my sanity maybe not, but she might end up liking me so much to give me discounts on things, like facials, the sauna etc. Yes that would do very well. Also, when I left the gym I would stroll through the streets all refreshed, and though slightly ruffled, I would emit a radiant glow that would turn heads. Above all though, I had to improve my fitness levels. I had been adamant that joining a gym was a waste of time and money, that I could do it all for less. First of all there was walking to work in the mornings. Surely that would burn sufficient calories – I didn’t need to rely on machines. After months of feeling good about this new regime however, I was told that a two minute walk up a hill (no matter how steep apparently) would do nothing for my physique. Then there was the idea of going for a run in the morning. I could even get a dog to keep me company. After a couple of five o’clock in the morning starts though I decided that I wasn’t really an outdoorsy sort of person and so that was that. Then it hit me – something that I can enjoy AND that is good for me. An aerobics video. I was convinced that this would do the trick; it would be fun and I could totally improve my fitness from the comfort of my own home - I even bought leg warmers I was so excited! Impossible. Ruddy impossible. Three minutes in, I was ready to collapse onto the laminate flooring despite Shirley’s (or whoever she was) cheerful encouragement. It was alright for her with her teeny waist and toned thighs that even looked good in tangerine Lycra. There was nothing else for it, I would have to cross the border, take that step and join a gym. At least the knowledge that I was paying for it would be a form of persuasion. I am NOT one to waste good money for the sake of sheer laziness. Three months on, I have been a total of say, five times. Thank God curves are in.
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