When my son was a little boy
I thought he would enjoy
The stories that my mother read
That gave me so much joy

But he rejected fairy tales
And the Walt Disney Annual
The bedtime stories he enjoyed
Were read from my car manual

If only I had been like him
And not been taken in
By fantasies created by
Such as the Brothers Grimm

Why did my mother never say?
In this why did she fail?
She never once explained to me
Life's not a fairy tale

I was an ugly duckling but
It was my mother's claim
I'd turn into a swan someday -
I didn't, what a shame.

And yet for many lonely years
I certainly believed
A knight would soon come riding by
Upon his milk white steed. 

A handsome man did come along,
I've found my prince, I thought.
Too late, after a kiss I found
It was a frog I'd caught. 

With men I am a failure
Of that there is no doubt
Even the big bad wolf who
Took a bite soon spat me out.

And then there was the bargain goose
Who'd lay the eggs of gold.
Too late, I found the truth -
It was a gander I'd been sold.

It's true the only story
My life seems to repeat
Is, like The Little Mermaid
I have very painful feet.

And so my disappointments
My bruised and broken heart
Are all because my mother
Didn't tell me from the start.