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Extended Work
The long and the short of it! - chapter 2
By Storywriter1987
10 September 2006
Here is chapter 2! Hope you like it!

Ok, so that was easier than I thought! Hello again! God he can be stroppy when he wants to be! But then again that how he was when I met him and when I married him so that’s the way I love him! He’s a man all right! Definitely a man, with a man’s point of view on things!

Told you he’d come round! Just like when I told him about Emma!......

“Mark, you remember when we had that party, and we ended up having a little private party in the bedroom?” “Yes, how could I forget, it was the best night of my life!” “Well, I’m, um, pregnant!” Then came the obscene things he said and then we sat down and talked about it! And he was as happy as Larry! But this time, this time! Went better than I had imagined! I’ll give you a round up and then give you more info!...

Ok, so where did I leave you? Ah right, he was in the pool in a huff, well………  He was in there for about an hour, he only briefly looked at me and then turned away as if he was disgusted at me! I had never seen that look in his eyes before and after a while it got to me! I ended up going upstairs, lying on the bed with the big white plump duvet over me and I didn’t even realize I was crying until my hand got wet.

In all the time I’d known him I had never felt so much hurt from his looks at all! And I’d loved him 2 years before we actually met and got together! There was a knock at the bedroom door and then it opened and in he came, straight over to me and lay in bed under the duvet with me. He pulled me close to him and held me tightly to his barrel chest and started to whisper things in my ear.

“I’m sorry baby! I’m so sorry! I took it the wrong way! I know the way I reacted hurt you and I’m so sorry. I just felt like my space was being invaded again! I am so sorry! You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, all I ever need! The brightest star in the darkest night and my life long ambition is to stay with you for the rest of my life! I promised to love you and share all the ups and downs of life with you! I am the most ungrateful person in the world! My gorgeous wife tells me she’s going to have my baby again and I go off on one! I want you, and Emma forever and this baby! You’re everything I want forever! I love you and that’s the long and the short of it!”

I turned towards him and wiped his tears away softly with the gentle touch of my lips. Then his lips found their way to mine and we shard a few gentle kisses and then he held me in his arms and we talked about everything! EVERYTHING! Then he held me in his arms, tightly to him and I felt his chest rise and fall beneath me and I drifted off to sleep knowing he did want me and he Emma and he really did want us to stay together and have this baby. Everything had turned out fine in the end!



 

Reviews
!!!!!
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 10th September 2006
I enjoyed this and you continued it on well. The basics for the chapter are here but i think it still needs a bit of work. 
For starter lighten up on the '!'. I felt like i was being yelled at and it was quite annoying. Especially when you wrote he whispered in her ear yet everything had a '!' after it. I suppose you meant it to be meaningful however a simply full stop would have done the trick. When people really mean something in real life they don't tend to yell it. 
Also what he said to her when he was whispering, seemed a little far fetched to me. He doesn't seem the character to speak this way. I'm not sure anyone would in real life and this story is about real life and real people isn't it? Not a fairytale.  
But theres definately potential! I hope i didn't sound too harsh. 
 
Gill
Another good chapter!
Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 10th September 2006
Hi Clare! There's not much I can add to Gill's review, really, except to say that, as she says, it definitely has potential. Never be disheartened by concrit, a professional author gave me some, which I took on board, and he said my latest story was well conceived and executed, and had a lot going for it! If you take on board what Gill has said, then I'm sure this story has a lot going for it, too! 
 
Onwards and upwards, as they say! Hope to see the next chapter up soon! :grin

Written by Storywriter1987 (91 comments posted) 28th October 2006
Hello guys, i am in the process of writing a bit more to this story.  
 
Please let me know if you would like another chapter.  
 
I have one person that has asked for it and if i have about 3/4 people i will post it up on here as soon as it is written! 
 
Please let me know! 
 
CC. xx

Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 28th October 2006
Clare, I think you know my answer to that question! :grin

Written by Storywriter1987 (91 comments posted) 28th October 2006
i'll take that as 2 peopole say yes then! 
 
Great Lyn thanks! 
 
Any other takers? 
 
 
Lyn, any chance of your next chapter soon?
Hi Clare!
Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 28th October 2006
I'm three quarters of the way through it, so it should be up soon! :grin

Written by Storywriter1987 (91 comments posted) 28th October 2006
YES! 
 
*dances round the living room like mad!*  
 
I am getting SOOOO much into your story my boyfriend keep asking so wots Eliza up to know then? or How's Jon been, any accidents!! 
 
He's waiting here with me! We re geting worried about Jon! 
 
Bless him!
Patience, patience!
Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 28th October 2006
Everything comes to he (or she!) who waits! :grin

Written by Storywriter1987 (91 comments posted) 28th October 2006
thats what i told him, he's had loads of coffe and we were at a charity 'casino nite'  
 
We won a heck of a lot! 
 
YAY! 
 
I'll sit on him and calm him down! 
 
CC. xx

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