An alternative viewpoint to today's mawkish memorials.
Two black and rotten teeth,
In the mouth of capitalism.
Two fingers raised,
To the third world.
Two crumbling edifices,
Monuments to excess,
Symbols of exploitation,
Jewels in a tyrant’s crown.
You had no right to stand,
And mock the others,
Who had fallen.
You had no right,
To be held sacrosanct,
While your leaders,
Bombed holy places.
You had no right,
To escape retribution.
The sins of your nation,
Weakened your fabric.
Your metal was an alloy,
Of lies and betrayals.
Your vulgar glass,
A black mirror of truth,
Reflecting greed,
And depravity.
Let us not mark your falling,
With unctuous odes,
And weasel words,
Platitudes.
Your end was fitting,
Completing your purpose,
To remind the world:
That evil empires,
Are not invulnerable.
That wickedness,
Begets wickedness.
And that others,
Will do unto us,
As we unto them.
Oli (11/09/06)
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Written by ellipinnock (1795 comments posted) 11th September 2006 | Wow! Too much to take in, in one read. I'll come back tomorrow but first impression, certainly striking!
Elli | Wow indeed.
Written by Phil (7008 comments posted) 11th September 2006 | Do you think the though police will be around tonight Talisker?
For what it's worth, I thought this was excellent. From the start the imagery was superb, but it got better. The verse that begins - 'Your metal was an alloy...' - is the best example of metaphorical writing I can remember.
I'm sure Talisker don't need me to stick up for him, but for any reviewers who may be offended - and I suspect from reading previous comments to previous poems, there may be - please reread the intro.
All the best Talisker
Phil. | Ditto....
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 11th September 2006 | | a great read, thanks. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 11th September 2006 | You talk eloquently about the building but conveniently make no mention of the people who died in it. What was their crime? The ordinary guys with no power to anything but earn a days living. I abhore all forms of fundamentalism, including yours.This is every bit as mawkish and deluded as that lunaic Bush's eulogy. Come back Josie all is forgiven
BBS | Yeh...
Written by Talisker (1336 comments posted) 11th September 2006 | And what of the innocent people in Iraq, far poorer people than worked in the WTC, who perished in mis-guided retribution.
I guess they don't count?
Oli
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 11th September 2006 | If you care so much about them why not write another poem I'm sure it will make everything right. Have you done anything for them beyond writing verse? That is the point ;the powerless ones die for the benefit of the rich
This is why I like to stay clear of the poetry forum. Please take comfort from the knowledge that I am just a poor deluded woman who doen't understand these things.
BBS |
Written by brook_rivers (486 comments posted) 11th September 2006 | I don't believe that any one human life is more important than another and the idea of 'an eye for an eye' or 'two wrongs make a right' when what we are actually talking about is much more than an eye - an unprecedented amount of lives - is an incomprehendable concept for me to take in.
You certainly did provide an alternative point of view and all opinions are important but I think it was certainly insensitive to post this harsh view today.
| yap.
Written by rilLie (329 comments posted) 11th September 2006 | | i loved teh metaphors and the flow of the words just seemed to make me never want to look away from the screen... loved it. | Dulce et Decorum est...
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 12th September 2006 | I find myself in sympathy with the pithy little comment above. Well done Talisker. From where I am standing, irrespective of whether I agree with the sentiments or not, your's is the most accomplished and eloquent contribution to this animated debate.
However I was struck by something Jane said. To whit, to the effect that poetry has little impact on the realpolitique. I understand the point she is making and to some extent she is surely correct. But I wonder how much of our aversion for gung ho conflict and its attendant jingoism was tempered by the impact of poets like Owen; Edward Thomas; or even Sassoon? Their pitiful lament at the insanity of organised bloodletting has surely got under the skin of my generation. The same is perhaps true for those of us who saw ' Oh What a Lovely War '. There is always an audience for those who pit whatever words they can muster to summon up common human values.
My own position is rather one of ambiguity. Largely from growing up amongst an extended and to some degree fractured family that had experienced five conflicts in the twentieth century. Two in the world and three in Ireland. Although all war is to be abhorred to varying degrees, I am of the opinion that Civil War is an an abomination all to itself.
Whatever. It is my opinion that, as Phil hinted, we are all a touch in the debt of Talisker and Givitsum for reminding us of uncomfortable things; maybe truths even. The very fact that they have raised such polarised emotions on the Poetry site seems to me sufficient justification for the efficacy of verse per se.
Slan!
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Written by ellipinnock (1795 comments posted) 12th September 2006 | Still not sure what to make of this. It's got me bamboozled. You certainly use some striking imagery. I still can't help thinking of the innocents who died in this tragedy through no fault of their own though. Maybe this is just too big a subject to capture in one piece. It has certainly been provocative. Maybe Brook was right in saying that yesterday wasn't the right time for the piece. I don't know, it's all beyond me I think. BBS makes a good point, all to often it does seem to be that the powerless die for the sake of the rich. I think I will come back to this.
All the best
Elli | Sentiments
Written by Talisker (1336 comments posted) 12th September 2006 | GC and others,
In explanation - if there are sentiments in the poem, they are not necessarily mine. My entire purpose was to encourage thought beyond the visceral. This is not a "heart-on-the-sleeve" piece. It is my poor attempt to step out of our comfortable western "weltanschauung", and to view a tragic event from another's perspective.
I hoped that it would be understood, but this seems to be beyond many. For those individuals let me be clear - I abhorr the loss of life, I detest violence in all its forms, I have immense sympathy for the victims. Yet, how can we understand a problem holistically if we are unwilling to consider things from all sides, especially those we find distasteful/difficult?
Thanks to all who commented,
Oli | Well said
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 12th September 2006 | Well done Talisman. Since when does everything one writes have to reflect ones feelings/beliefs?
10/10 for balls.
Givitsum | Ditto plus...
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 12th September 2006 | 11 out of ten from the Irish jury!
Slan! |
Written by JourneyAtNight (318 comments posted) 12th September 2006 | Jesus!
Oh...and a fab piece of poetry in my mind.
E xxx | Action Reaction
Written by SigurRos (1 comments posted) 14th September 2006 | Awesome poem. As we live in a realm where the law of action reaction, or some might say karma, are very real, even though, with the time delay, we may not always see the consequences of our actions, the poem hit the right nerve in that what we do to others will be done to us!!
Who can understand the tragic loss of (innocent) human life in the bigger scheme of things, but all in all it ought to have been a wake up call for all to change our ways and not to strike out in retaliation because as we currently perceive it in the world around us, the snowball is just getting bigger and bigger when that happens.
How about trying Ghandi's solutions? |
Written by rushwilde (24 comments posted) 20th July 2007 | it started out good, and then got better and better.
I knew what it was about from the title, and then te poem really stayed true to it.
All in all, i really enjoyed it.
and at the very end, at first glance, i saw oil instead of oli.
wonder whyyy. |
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