Quicklinks:
|
Great Writing - Home > Comedy > Get Down Shep!
| READING ROOM | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| COMMUNITY | |||
|---|---|---|---|
|
| ABOUT GREAT WRITING | ||
|---|---|---|
|
| WORK AWAITING REVIEW |
|---|
|
| GW IS... |
|---|
|
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas
and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur
authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry
Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you
can make new friends and improve your creative writing. |
| WHO'S ONLINE |
|---|
| We have 1565 guests online and 2 members online |
Comedy
| print friendly version | |
| Get Down Shep! | |
| By Talisker | ||||||||||||
| 12 September 2006 | ||||||||||||
|
Just a bit of fun. Setting the scene: Blue Peter sunken garden, Spring 1976. Dramatis Personae: John Noakes (loveable Yorkshireman with Beatles haircut and scatty collie dog Shep) Peter Purvis (failed Doctor Who actor and wearer of paisley pattern shirts and flairs) Lesley Judd (inheritor of the Val Singleton role, maker of all things with toilet roll tubes) Percy Thrower (grumpy old gardener) Percy is turning the compost heap, our other three intrepid presenters are on their way to the garden shed. They are hoping to awake the Blue Peter tortoise, Freda III, who has been “hibernating “ since October. Noakes: By ‘eck it’s a bit parky! Look at Lesley’s nipples! Like scammel wheel nuts those are! Judd: John! Don’t be so coarse! I hope Freda’s had a good rest. Purves (reaching the shed): Christ! What’s that fucking smell. Its like the Blue Peter bog after John’s been in! Purves enters the shed followed by Noakes. They advise Judd to remain outside, where she waves sweetly to Percy. Purves returns with a cardboard box held at arms length: Purves: Whoa! It minky minkin’! Find out what it is John! (he puts the box down). The intrepid knoakes seems to relish the challenge. Shep is unusually animated, even for a mad collie. Noakes: Lets ‘ave a gander in ‘ere then Shep shall we? (he rummages in the straw filled box). Noakes: Ahhhhrgggg, Christ! Its shite! Some dirty c*nt’s had a dump in the box! And where’s Freda? Noakes turns ashen faced and barely controlling the vomit impulse, wiping his soiled hands on the Blue Peter Lawn. Lesley Judd covers her mouth and runs in a girly fashion for the main building. Noakes: Wait! There’s a note in here! On hearing the commotion, Thrower has joined the remaining two: Purves, Thrower: Wassitsay? Wassitsay? Noakes: One for sorrow? Two for Joy? Three for a girl? Maaaagggpieeieeieeiee!!!! Sound effect: PING! Purves: Jeezus! What was that! Something whirred past my ear! Noakes: Get down Shep!!! Noakes: Percy! Percy! Are you alright? Percy, clearly not “alright” is lying face down on the lawn. An airgun pellet had struck Purves’ oversized Blue Peter badge and ricocheted into Percy’s temple. Noakes: By Val’s knickers! We’re under fire! Get down Shep! Purves: Let’s make a run for the building! Noakes: What about Percy! We can’s just leave him there! Camera pans slowly to the top of a “grassy knoll” some one hundred yards or so to the west of the garden. A tall, lanky figure in khakis, carrying an air rifle slowly removes his balaclava. Its shaggy haired Marc Bolan look-alike and Magpie presenter, Mick Robertson! The rivalry has become serious!
Only registered users can rate and write comments. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
||||||||||||
 Previous item
|
Next item
|
|---|