Great Writing - Home > Poetry > The Cure that could have been
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 892 guests online and 7 members online
Poetry
The Cure that could have been
By CartoonScott
13 September 2006
Tale from the Old West (Going Down)

Beneath his crushing feat he accepted his fast arriving fate
And to the armies beat the meek fled on shaken feet
But he’ll stand tall

Retain some fleeting grace
On the spot he will fall

"Run" screamed a young soldier/ In case he didn’t know to do that
"Stand your post,” shouted the General, weeping without crying as his heart cracked
Lonely general on a busy hill, grabs the young soldier fleeing away from being a enemy kill
"Stand your post!" he orders to the soul in his grasp
"Why" cried the bewildered blond star boy, “ our chances are capped ”?

The captain let go and stood alone
He looked below
Should he run, should he go, he just didn’t know
The wind blew hard,
The grass tickled the faces of the dead who picked the death tarot card

Should they stand or run, hide or front
They were doomed either way
There was nowhere to cover
Here coming was the devils lover

Going down
Going down now
Going down
Going down now

In the distant, beneath the weeping heavens and the thunderous claps of sky
Marched forward a force far more frightening than the feelings of death shy

towards the small town herded a black wall of men
Devil upon devil, swaying and drifting down the beautiful, heavenly peaceful glen

His people only crime being in the way
No means to fight the greed that the devil pays

Going down
Going down now
Going down
Going down now

Such a lonely, lonely, lonely time

Going down now

Bernard the simple teacher made general
A war stopped the destiny he had to fill
A war blocked the road

Bernard taught medicine as a life line
He had the cure to ensure us a life fine
But of course man has this way
Of destroying the best of us every day
every man, woman and child were called to arms,
Bernard the simple teacher made general
They hadn’t a chance, the men of the mystic west were champions of war and no small band would break a sweat in their goal of absolute rule

Looking into a time that might have pasted I can see what Bernard would have been,
Should have done if not man urge for the counter strike destruction to all the unique wonders it can create,
A world where love just doesn’t conquer hate
Just think how history may have been
All those chances we should have seen


Bernard lies dead
He’s life changing cures never written, never read
All he’s good flowing out his head as the blood turns the earth beauty red

We’re going down

Reviews
Moving
Written by Abigail (29 comments posted) 7th March 2008
There were a few places where the rhyme felt forced and the words were a rough, but over all, it was a very moving piece. 
 
Humans are the only animals that has no natural predators. No carnivor on earth will eat a human when hey can eat anything else.  
 
Man has always been his own worse enemy. 
 
Abigail 

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item