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Poetry


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A Writer: To be a human being

By CartoonScott

13 September 2006

To be creative is to be a human being

Or else we're just machines

A virus on the Earth just spinning

To break from the motions

Enrich the darkness with our emotions

To explain the happiness in a dying mans heart

And express the stark message in a comical farce

How tragic it would be for not sharing

To go to your grave, the world not knowing

Not caring

To be a writer is to be a human being

To break from the motions and enjoy the gift of living

Reviews

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 13th September 2006

There were elements in this poem such as the occasional rhymes that I really liked. It also has a nice flow and feel to it. I wasn't so keen on the title though-we are all unconditionally human beings surely? Well done though.

All the best

Elli

ps. you might find more people read and review your stuff if you post it sequentiall rather than all at once, it's overwhelming for my little brain at least

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 13th September 2006

I'll second what Elli says about posting. Spread them out. You'll probably get more readers and reviewers.

I'm still learning about poetry, so feel free to disregard this: having read all five of your submissions I definitely feel you have material to work with, some good ideas. However, for me, it seems like your ideas have gone straight from mind to paper and not been shaped very much inbetween. This may be unfair - I'm sorry. It's all a bit too much stream of consciousness for me.

Poetry, like music I suppose, can be a very personal thing and other readers may react completely differently.

All the best,

Phil.

Ditto
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 14th September 2006

All full of raw emotion but somehow uncrafted. Missing the "X-factor" for me. "Stream of thought" stuff is very difficult to do if you want to make it enjoyable for the reader - otherwise it sounds like the ramblings of a disturbed mind. And that comes from a very disturbed mind

Oli

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