I've always had a fondness for fruity yoghurt and this being the age of customer choice there are almost endless variety of flavours on offer. Sometimes in a pack of 4 you might get for example: Peach, Raspberry, Strawberry and Passion Fruit - a common and quite distinct selection of fruit flavours. But Tesco now produce possibly the subtlest couple of flavours ever devised - in their 4 pack you get 2 Strawberry and 2 Strawberry and Wild Strawberry. Not Wild Strawberry on its own you note but one with the ordinary, workaday, farm-bred strawberries mixed in. Firstly, I would like to throw my hat into the ring and challenge anyone - even the most committed and epicurean strawberry connoisseur to tell the difference between a cultivated strawberry yoghurt and a wild one. Let alone one diluted with plain strawberries. Is there anyone, even someone from Belgium, with a palate so subtle, so delicate that they would wave away a tub of normal strawberry yoghurt with disdain and demand Wild Strawberry flavour? If there is such a person, whatever the outcome of the challenge, I'd like to smash their face in. Simply for having nothing better to do with their lives.

Of course, I'm making the bold presumption that they would be spoilt, self-indulgent wastrels travelling the world making pompous proclamations on the merits of all the fruit flavourings they encounter.

But maybe the opposite is true. Maybe these people are excitement-seeking adventurers. Perhaps, the truth for all you ordinary workaday folk sitting at home in the comfort of your own armchairs is that - YOU CAN'T HANDLE WILD STRAWBERRIES!! A pure, uncut wild strawberry is far too much for one man to take. Perhaps no-one has ever tasted one and lived or been driven out of his wits with delight. So the stuff has to be diluted with tame, mass-produced strawberries. My God it would take a very foolhardy, headstrong fellow indeed to tackle a tub of unadulterated, uncultivated WILD strawberry yoghurt. Yet it is what they seek - these guys who live on the edge and have passion for danger. The pages of Victorian history books were littered with such gallant fellows - heroic explorers, admirals and generals and these stout-hearted wild strawberry seekers are simply emulating their valiant forebears - venturing forth into the farthest corners of the empire to sample the finest that the world of soft fruit and dairy produce can throw at them, scoffing them up, going mad, going native, or dying in the process. And all for our yoghurting pleasure. There should be statues to these men.

Give me Wild Strawberry Yoghurt or give me death!!