A bloody great big Knocking shop
has opened down our street,
A place where all the visitors
like to go to meet,

It used to be a guesthouse
with lots of different rooms,
I've never been in myself
it's just something one assumes.

Mary from the dairy's there
so is Li-lo Lill,
They supply the condoms
as they're not on the pill.

Big Bertha fills the window
a rather frightful sight,
and she shows her full moon
at 10 pm each night.

Titillating Tina also
does her bit
standing at the front door
with her ciggy lit.

The local bobby often calls
for a cup of tea;
I think he gets some extras,
But he won't tell me.

The parish priest and vicar too
have called to say hello
from what they've both been up to
there's a dent in their halo.

The girls get paid a lot of cash
it's just their way of life,
I've just knocked and asked about
a job there for the wife.
(Hope she doesn't read this)