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Poetry
Just Life
By Buchan
14 September 2006
Life seems to revolve around money and power...Perhaps there is more? If only we look.

                         In the spectrum of time numbers fall
                         We are counted ,as coins of the realm
                         Audits taken,many lives not balanced
                         Computations unable to touch the soul

                         Did the pirates of old steal the treasure?
                         As we sailed away on a sea of hopes and dreams
                         Knowing happiness is not in jewels and gold
                         Love,goodness asleep in a different treasure

                         Never finding within this short space in time
                         World meandering,holding it's gold and wealth
                         While the ship sails towards the rocks of doom
                         Not seeing the counting house of  loving help

                         How rich the bank of truth and soul.

Reviews

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3433 comments posted) 14th September 2006
I know this has been said before but it's worth saying again when it's said as well as this. Short and pithy and heartfelt. My sort of poem 
cheers 
BBS
Oh dear...
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 14th September 2006
Poetry it ain't for me. OK so it doesn't rhyme, but it needs to flow a bit. This is jagged and awkward for me to read - so the sentiment struggles to get across.  
 
A wee bit effort with structure etc... would not go amiss for me. 
 
Oli
Just Life
Written by Buchan (42 comments posted) 14th September 2006
Aint is not English Is not is ....Please get your grammar together....P.s few read your work because you are so critical...get a life get some basics ...think Good over comes evil ..If you have nothing to say and you think the poem is no good ...keep it to your self I do. Just think.

Written by Phil (6828 comments posted) 15th September 2006
I liked the sentiment in this. As BBS says, it's been said before, but bears repeating. 
 
As for the comment above: I suppose we all post work with a hope of feedback. Personnally, I hope mine will be positive, but when it's not, as long as it is honest, it's valid. I too thought the flow/pulse was a little off but still liked the poem as a whole. 
 
Phil.
Wonderful
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 17th September 2006
This poem, as all of your pieces do, touched me.  
 
Life does seem to be about money and power, your poem encapsulated it all so accurately. 
 
The verse... 
 
Did the pirates of old steal the treasure? 
As we sailed away on a sea of hopes and dreams 
Knowing happiness is not in jewels and gold 
Love,goodness asleep in a different treasure 
 
rings so very true. We were all looking one place for treasure of riches and gems, while love and kindness was stolen away. Beautiful. 
 
Well done Buchan, another great piece! 
 
Best wishes 
 
mish x 
 
 
 

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