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Extended Work
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| Confessions of a site secretary - part 10 | |
| By teddy | ||||||||||||||||
| 18 September 2006 | ||||||||||||||||
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When I first started writing this part I thought it would fit well within the rest of the story. Now, after re-reading it thousand times, I’m not quite sure about it. Any advice would be more than welcome. Thanks. If there’s one more good thing, apart from my baby of course, emerged from all this mess that I got myself into in the last few months that must be George. Paul is such a fool, you’d never ever fall out with a friend like him. After our last chat George kept phoning me almost every day. I think he was really worried about me. I must’ve been in a right state that night. ‘Adi, would you like me to take you out tonight?’ he would offer when my mood sounded really miserable. ‘If it’s not too much trouble for you…’ The truth was that I could’ve done with an extra friend. Not that Tina hasn’t been supportive but there are many things she doesn’t know and I can’t really talk to her about them. ‘Cos she wouldn’t understand. ‘Don’t be silly, of course it’s not. I’ll be there around six, is that ok?’ ‘That'll be fine, thanks.’ At first, I felt a bit reluctant. Was it guilt? Not that he had anything to feel guilty about anyway. Or just sympathy? Perhaps there was a bit of both I thought but then I realised that more than anything else it must’ve been his big generous heart. I also wanted to know how Anne, his partner, feels about this. I didn’t want to cause any trouble. You know how women can get a bit funny when there’s another one around. Even though there’s nothing dodgy going on. ‘How’s Anne?’ I asked the next time he came to see me. ‘We’ve split up, Adi.’ Now that was another shock. They’d been to together for almost five years. ‘Oh God, nothing to do with me this time I hope.’ I prayed. ‘Oh, I’m sorry’ I apologised for my gaffe, ‘I didn’t know.’ ‘It’s ok, our relationship had been on the edge long before this.’ he considered necessary to explain. ‘I think Anne and I just wanted different things. She wanted more commitment and I wasn’t really ready for it. Falling out with Paul must’ve been the last drop. She took his side, she too thought that I’d been disloyal. She was very fond of Paul, perhaps too fond. A week later she packed her bags and left.’ Well, indirectly, I was involved in this one as well. ‘Great!’ I felt culpable once again. I didn’t know what to say. Poor George, loosing two people so important to him at once must’ve put him through hell. I really really felt for him. Anyway, in the last two months we’ve become quite close. George does cheer me up, exactly what I need at the moment. We talk about lots of things, - try to avoid talking about Paul though, I think he knows it would do me no good - it looks like we have lots in common. We both like museums and art galleries so we’d usually wear out our shoes on the floors of one of them on a Sunday afternoon. We’re also both very fond of the old classical movies and music of the seventies. We would usually reserve that for Saturday evenings. During the week he takes me out for dinner sometime or even for a quick lunch when he can get away from work. Many times I do feel like he’s a big brother looking out for me. He is indeed a great friend, I really enjoy his company and I think, well, I hope at least, he does enjoy mine. I wish I knew him better when I was going out with Paul. Then maybe things would’ve been different. Last month I took him to meet Tina and Craig. ‘Listen, Adi’ he phoned me up one Friday afternoon, ‘would you like to go for a walk in the countryside tomorrow? And then I can take you for a nice dinner to one of the cosy pubs around there.’ It sounded really good but I had other plans. ‘I’m sorry, George, but Tina and Craig are having some friends for dinner tomorrow night. I can’t really miss that.’ ‘Oh ok,’ I felt the disappointment in his voice, ‘perhaps some other time then.’ ‘Listen, why don’t you come along?’ I asked. ‘Errrmmm…I don’t know, I don’t want to disturb.’ ‘Don’t be silly, of course you won’t. The more the merrier. Plus, Tina and Craig have always wanted to meet you. They’re down to earth people, you’ll like them, you’ll see.’ ’I’m sure I will.’ he politely agreed. That was settled then. And I was absolutely right about them three, they got on like house on fire, especially George and Tina. She always wanted to become an architect, so they had quite a lot to talk about. However, she ended up being a social worker. ‘Your job must be quite challenging but so satisfying at the same time.’ George courteously expressed his interest in her work. ‘Well, what do you think about him?’ I asked while helping her in the kitchen with the coffee. ‘He seems a very nice guy indeed. And he does like you very much.’ she said. Now I know Tina and there was some sort of mischievous allusion in her smile. ‘What d’you mean? Of course he does, we’re friends.’ I told her slightly irritated. She didn’t say a word, just kept smirking at me. ‘Oh, com’on, Tina, spit it out,’ I impatiently demanded. What was she trying to say? ‘Ok, put this way, Adi, the guy’s mad about you.’ ‘Oh, don’t be so bloody daft.’ I picked up a peanut from the bowl on the table and threw it at her. ‘You can be so naïve sometimes.’ I heard her laughing behind me as I was exiting the kitchen with the coffee jug in my hand. ‘Oh, just give me a break, will you?’ I mumbled. ‘You talk so much rubbish sometimes.’ However, for the rest of the evening I involuntary kept studying George, trying to figure out if there was any truth in Tina’s insinuations. Nah, his behaviour towards me wasn’t any different from before. George’s just a good loyal friend to me. And to Paul. ‘Cos deep down I know he feels that he owes it to him, to make sure that the baby and I are alright since Paul can’t be there. Tina was nuts. * It looks like every time my life tries to get back on the right track something comes up and messes it all up again. Until yesterday things were looking pretty good. The Baby‘s four months old now and enjoys showing off my tummy. Tina and Craig have been really spoiling me, and George’s been ever so helpful. Mark’s proved to be a good friend too, he phones me up every now and then just to see how I am. I let him come and see me sometime, not too often though. Anyway, yesterday afternoon while checking my email inbox I spotted, not without pleasant surprise, a message from Louise. I mean, after I left the other site, we didn’t really keep in touch but there’d been times when I’d really missed her. I couldn’t wait to open the email. It was rather long and sounded something like this: ‘Hey, Adi, how you doing, sweetheart? Long time no see. What you up to these days? Me still on the old site, not much on it left though, three to four months the most. How’s the one you’re on? Any better? You should be ashamed of yourself, you little lazy cow, for not keeping in touch at all. I should say the same for myself thoughJ Everyone says hi, Glenn in particularly, you really broke his little heart, you devious girlJ …people kept asking about you after you left, you know. Anyway, nothing’s changed around here, Mike’s still barking like a mad dog when he’s in a bad mood, Glenn, Chris and Ayo are still lazy fuckers, and all that lot sitting in the corner still as miserable as a bucket of dirty water….so you’re not missing much really. Shame you’re not here though, Adi, ‘cos I’ve been dying to tell you this,….listen, you’re never gonna guess who turned up on site last week. Remember the guy I used to fancy once? Paul Harold, the architect? Him. I was nearly to fall over when he entered the office. ‘Cos last time we saw him was quite long ago, at that Friday drink they had around their offices, wasn’t it? You should’ve seen him, Adi, he looked just as gorgeous as ever! Anyway, he came and said hello….he seemed really pleased to see me again.’ At that point my heart was already badly shivering. Oh God, Paul on the Beaurex site…it was impossible. ‘Later on we all fucked off to the pub, as usual of course. And guess what…he came as well. I couldn’t believe it! ‘Cos he’s only been there once before, remember?...anyway, he came straight to where I was and started chatting me up. Oh Adi, he’s such a charmer! No wonder that everyone fancies him…sorry, I forgot, you didn’t. ‘Cos you’d rather go for the likes of Mark, wouldn’t you? Not that Mark is not a good looking bloke but he’s a bit on the rough side, isn’t he? Now, Adi, I must tell you something, don’t get upset though: Mark’s been trying it on with me. I don’t mind him ‘cos he’s a nice guy but no, not in a million years, especially since you went out with him. Even though you two are not seeing each other anymore I couldn’t do that to you, could I? At the end of the day you’re my mate. Anyway, back to Paul, everything was going smoothly, we’re just getting cosy with each other, talking and all that, when fucking Mark turned up. You should’ve seen his face, Adi, when he saw me with Paul. I swear, he would’ve killed him with one look if he could. I thought, this is it, he’s gonna spoil it all. I think Paul noticed that something was going on ‘cos the way he looked back at Mark was even worse. I’m telling you, Adi, it was really frightening, for a second I really thought they’d be at each other. Luckily Mark backed off, well, he knows it's no point in causing any trouble ‘cos I told him before, me and him is not gonna happen, end of story! Anyway, after few more drinks me and Paul were all over each other. To be honest, Adi, I was well swept off my feet ‘cos I couldn’t believe that he actually fancies me. It was getting late and people started leaving and I really wondered what he was going to do, was he gonna just leave me there again, like last time? But…you’re not gonna believe this, he actually asked me back to his place! I thought I was dreaming. I wasn’t gonna say no though, was I? You should see his house, Adi, never seen a poshest place in my entire life, only in the movies. I’m telling you, he is bloody loaded! And his bedroom, bloody hell, he’s got the biggest bed ever, you could have an orgy in there if you wanted. He went to get some drinks from downstairs so I had a quick look around, I’m telling you, everything was so flipping smart….apart from a painting hanging above his bed, which I thought was rather odd. It had Paul lying in his bath in it, could you believe that??? I thought who on earth would paint anything like this? Who ever did it could’ve at least left the water out…so one could see the rest of himJ It must’ve been done by one of his friends, otherwise he wouldn’t have hung something like that in his bedroom…I looked at the signature, a weird one, Adib, sounded like an Arabic name. I remember laughing though ‘cos if you took the b out you’d be left with your name, weird, isn’t it?…’cos you do a bit of painting yourself, don’t you Adi? Now I’m not gonna go into details of what happened after he came back, you can use your own imagination, girl!!! (Lou blushing). I’m telling you though, he’s got such a fit body and he definitely knows how to use it! Obviously I stayed there over night and when I left in the morning he asked for my phone number. So I’ll definitely see him again. All I can say, my precious Adi, is that I fancy him like hell and by the way he behaved and kept looking at me the whole time I was with him, I’d say the feelings are mutual. I can’t believe I’m so bloody lucky! …can’t wait to find out what you think about all this. I better go now, Mike’s gonna be here in a second. Take care. Lou xxx P.S. 1 I’ll keep you updated. P.S. 2 Remember when I first tried to chat him up in the Header and you advised me to use the condoms machine in the toilets if we needed? I thought it was funny so I told him about that when I helped him putting his one on (me blushing again)….he laughed, I don’t think he remembered you though, well, can’t really blame him ‘cos you two only met twice, didn’t you?’ By the time I got at the end of Lou’s email the last drop of blood must’ve been drained out of my face. My hands were shaking, it took me some effort to swap the pages over to cover it up when I saw Harry approaching my desk. ‘Are you ok, Adi?’ he asked looking at me worried. I must’ve been as white as the paper he handed over to me. I must say, since he found out that I was pregnant his attitude towards me has changed, he’s rather considerate now, almost polite actually. He even told me once that his girlfriend was expecting as well. It must’ve been the stress and the hormones then I excused his previous behaviour. I also think he appreciated the fact that I didn’t take things further and get him into trouble. He can still be a bastard with the rest and he’s definitely still giving Vic a hard time, but he’s definitely off my back. ‘No, I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well.’ I muttered. ‘If you’re not well, go home, Adi, get some rest.’ he generously suggested. ‘Are you sure?’ I thankfully looked at him. ‘Of course.’ he smiled sympathetically. . ‘Thanks. I’ll have to let Vic know.’ I said. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll tell him. You think you’ll be ok on your own? Or you want me to send someone with you?’ he offered. ‘No, no, I’ll be fine, thanks, just need to get some fresh air.’ When I got out I phoned up Mark. ‘Mark, are you at work?’ ‘Oh hi, babe. I’m at work yeah, why? What’s up?’ ‘I need to see you. Can you meet me somewhere?’ I couldn’t stop my voice from trembling. ‘Sure. Are you ok, Adi?’ he asked worried. ‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you in half an hour.’ ‘Ok, in the Header?’ ‘No, no, can you come and meet me at the pub you took me once, the one along the river, remember it?’ ‘‘Course, see you there then.’ ‘Adi, you sure you’re ok?’ a worried Mark asked when he saw me. I must’ve looked terrible. ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’ I said. He didn’t seem too convinced. ‘Com’on, let’s sit down.’ he took me inside the pub. It was quite busy, somehow we managed to find an empty table in a corner though. ‘Now, go on, tell me, what’s wrong, babe?’ he asked when he came back with the drinks. ‘I know Paul was in the Header last week.’ I started. ‘And I know you were there as well. Did you say anything to him?’ ‘Nooo, of course not, I saw him there but I didn’t speak to him at all. Not that I didn’t want to have a fucking word considering…’ ‘Promise me, Mark.’ ‘I promise, babe. Is this what you so worried about? Well, don’t be ‘cos I didn’t say a word to him, I swear on my kids’ life. How did you find out anyway?’ he asked curious. ‘I got an email from Louise this afternoon.’ I said trying to keep the glass in my hand steady. ‘God, Adi, what’s the matter?’ Mark picked it up and put it back on the table. He took my hands into his. ‘Talk to me.’ ‘Is it true that he was with Louise that night?’ ‘Why do you need to know, babe? Just fucking leave it, it does no good to you at all, I mean, look at you, you’re shaking like a leaf.’ he squeezed my hands affectionately. ‘Answer me, Mark.’ I demanded. ‘Well, ok, I saw them together, that’s it. Fucking bitch! Why is she doing this? She shouldn’t have told you.’ ‘It’s not her fault. She doesn’t know about me and Paul.’ I defended Louise. ‘Of course she fucking does. Why do you think she waited a week to tell you?’ Mark said annoyed. ‘What do you mean? How come she knows, Mark?’ I questioned him. ‘Well, I told her.’ he confessed. ‘Why?’ I asked still trying to keep my voice calm. ‘Few of us went to the Header last night including her. After few drinks she started bragging off about your Paul and his last week’s sexual performance. And she wouldn’t fucking stop. So it just slipped out of my mouth.’ ‘Was it because you’ve been trying it on with her and she keeps turning you down?’ I continued to interrogate him. ‘This is what she told you? Fucking stupid cow! I only tried it once when I was fucking pissed. I didn’t shag her but she did let me fondle her quite a bit.’ ‘I want to know exactly what you said to her about Paul and me, Mark.’ ‘I can’t fucking remember, Adi, just that you were with him….’ ‘I need to know. Tell me.’ ‘Well, ok, errmmm…I said if the bloke’s really that good in bed why did Adi always come back to me for more after him...or something like that anyway. I just wanted to fucking shut her up, Adi, I swear….‘ At that point I must’ve lost it completely. ‘You fucking bastard!’ I lashed out at him. Somehow he managed to grab my wrists just before my hands were about to touch his face. ‘Adi, what the fuck….what’s wrong with you?’ he raised his voice shocked by my aggressive outburst. He moved next to me and put both of my wrists together, keeping them still with one hand while he wrapped his free arm around my back. Then with a quick move he left the wrists go and put his other arm around the front, immobilising me. ‘Now, com’on, be a good girl.’ he said while holding me gently but tight. I was heavily gasping. ‘Please, babe, calm down,...’ he whispered burying his face into my hair. ‘Sshhhh…com’on, baby, everything’s gonna be fine, trust me.’ he started covering my face with little gentle kisses and for a moment I got taken back in time: once again it felt so cosy there, in his arms. The up and down movements of my chest started slowing down. Next thing I knew Mark’s lips were on top of mine, forcing them open. I found myself involuntary responding to their warm touch. A second later I pushed him back. ‘Stay away from me, Mark. I don’t want to ever see or hear from you again.’ He looked absolutely shattered. ‘Babe, you can’t possibly mean that. Please, Adi, I care about you…please, tell me, why?’ I felt sorry for him but I couldn’t afford to be soft. ‘Because you keep messing my life up, Mark.’ I picked up my bag and headed towards the door. ‘Adi,..’ I heard him calling me. I didn’t turn back. ‘Are you alright, love?’ a guy sitting at a nearby table asked me. He must’ve witnessed the whole scene. I stopped for a second and looked at him. ‘Do I fucking look alright to you?’ my eyes were asking him. Now I’m in my bedroom, down in pieces again. How could Paul do this to me? Why Louise? Anyone else but not her. ‘Look who’s talking.’ I can’t stop my other side from criticizing. ‘You slept with your boss, remember? How do you think Paul felt when he found out, eh?’ Tina keeps coming and knocking into the door. ‘Adi, what on earth is going on? Let me in.’ I don’t feel like seeing or talking to anyone. Last night when I got home I went straight to bed. I want to do the same thing now and for the rest of my life. ‘Leave me alone.’ I shout at her. Craig comes to back her up. ‘Adi, please, we just want to talk to you, make sure you’re ok.’ ‘Go away. I want to be on my own.’ I demand. George has rung me five times already today. I can’t pick myself up and answer the phone, I’m sorry, George. Now I’m absolutely convinced that Paul hates me. Otherwise he wouldn’t have slept with Lou. Life is so fucking shit I decide. I’m never gonna get over this. * ‘Oh Adi, my poor Adi,’ Paul felt his heart melting with sorrow, ‘I’ve never meant to put you through all this.’ He remembered the night he brought Louise back to his place. Few months after Adi left, one morning, Caroline came into his office. ‘Paul, I’ve got bad news. John Carr’s been taken to the hospital this morning.’ she said. ‘Oh God, what happened?’ he asked highly concerned. ‘I don’t know many details, his wife rang Lisa half an hour ago, apparently he collapsed while having breakfast.’ ‘Is he alright? Is there anything we can do to help? Please find out.’ he asked her. ‘I will do. But this is not all.’ she carried on. ‘John was due to have a meeting this afternoon with the guys from Beaurex. I’ve tried to find a replacement but it seems that no one else is available. Chris and Lisa haven’t got enough expertise to handle it on their own. They need a senior person there. It’s a very important meeting as the site is coming to an end.’ ‘Hmmm, ok.’ Paul tried to think ‘how about Andy? He dealt with it for a while after George left.’ ‘He’s up in Manchester today.’ ‘What time is the meeting?’ Paul asked. ‘Two o’clock in the afternoon.’ ‘Ok, book me in for it then.’ ‘Are you sure?’ Caroline looked at him concerned. ‘Yes.’ he had to make a quick decision. He wasn’t sure if he could face going there again but he had no choice. Once inside the site reception his eyes kept staring at the door with the big ‘Logistics Manager’ sign on. Was she in there? He felt a huge urge to go and find out. His ringing phone saved him. It was Sarah, she wanted to know if he was still up for that evening. He was supposed to go around her place for supper. ‘I’m sorry, something has come up.’ he heard himself saying, ‘I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’ He couldn’t understand why he did that. At the meeting he could hardly concentrate. Where was she? He really hoped, even knowing that he shouldn’t have, that he could see her, just for a moment, that would be enough. When Mike asked him if he fancied a drink after the meeting he was about to refuse. ‘Sure,’ he found himself saying. Maybe Adi would be there. He didn’t even know how he would handle seeing her again but he couldn’t stop himself hoping. When he stepped inside the Header his eyes desperately started searching for her but she was nowhere to be seen, He went to Louise hoping that she might say something. He was determined to put up with her silly advances again just for the sake of finding out about Adi. She didn’t say much though. Not until Mark Taylor turned up. Paul saw him coming over, towards the bar. He tried hard to contain the fury that Mark’s presence was reawakening. Their eyes met for a moment, both pairs were full of hate. ‘What’s wrong with him miserable sod?’ Louise’s words broke up the tension. Paul turned around at her. He was about to ask about Adi, he had to. He didn’t need to though. Louise was already up for a bit of gossip. ‘He can be very stroppy sometimes.’ she carried on referring to Mark. ‘Did you know that he had an affair with his secretary, Adi, I don’t know if you remember her? We were all shocked when we saw them together, I mean, she was so much younger than him. Plus he’s married with kids. Everyone thought it was just sex but I think that actually the idiot was in love with her. You wouldn’t think that looking at him, would you? It didn’t last long though, their relationship I mean, well, not surprising. After a while Adi dumped him and she asked to be moved to another site….haven’t heard from her since, shame ‘cos we used to be mates.’ Paul felt his hand tightly griping the glass that it was holding. He tried to control its movements. The old ghosts were coming back to haunt him once again. Adi wasn’t there anymore and he felt utterly disappointed. However, the pain he felt when she left him was still there, as sharp as ever. He knew he couldn’t face going home on his own that night. It was too late to go back to Sarah, she most probably made other plans. He looked at the girl in front of him. Louise was good looking, not the best company, but all he needed was a woman in his bed to take his mind away from other things. And she was quite keen offering herself to him on a plate. The next morning when he woke up next to her he instantly regretted the previous night’s decision, She was smiling at him: ‘Good morning, gorgeous.’ ‘Good morning.’ he forced himself to smile back. The news given to him the night before took over his brain immediately. Where was Adi? How was she doing? The pain and frustration of not being able to see her were still there. He looked again at the woman lying next to him and his thoughts slipped back to the mornings when Adi was there. He was always the first to wake up. He would watch her for a while and then just before the alarm clock was about to go off, he knew she didn’t like the sound of it, his hand would run a gentle stroke on her back. ‘Come on, lazy, it’s time to get up.’ She would move slowly and turn her face towards him trying to locate his position in bed with her eyes half open. ‘What time is it? …just another five minutes, please.’ she would beg before burying her head underneath the pillow. ‘This should wake you up.’ he would pull her towards him. ‘I’ll be late for work.’ she would moan still keeping her eyes closed. ‘I’ll make it worth awhile.’ he used to whisper in her ear. Seconds later she was always wide awake. Then he would go downstairs and wait for her in the kitchen, giving her time to get ready. Half an hour later, he would hear her rushing down the stairs. ‘Adi, come and have some breakfast before you leave.’ ‘No, thanks, I’ve already had mine.’ she would answer. ‘When?’ ‘Earlier on, in bed, don’t you remember?’ she would cheekily smile at him. ‘Oh God, it’s late. Where are my keys, where are my keys?’ she would panic a moment later, feverishly searching the kitchen’s worktops. ‘In your hand?’ She would stop agitating for a second opening her palm and looking at its contents amazed. ‘Stupid!’ she would mumble before giving him a quick kiss. ‘Have a good day. See you later.’ And then she would dash through the door. Once he tried the waking up trick on a Saturday morning. It didn’t work. ‘Do I have to get up?’ she asked at first. ‘Yes, you’ll be late for work otherwise.’ She lifted her head up for a moment: ‘But it’s Saturday.’ she looked at him confused. He smiled amused. He didn’t anticipate the push and a second later he found himself on the floor with her on top of him. ‘Do not do it again, I’m warning you.’ she was pointing a finger into his face, trying hard to stay serious. He was laughing. A second later so was she. Then he put his arms around her waist and gently moved her underneath pinning her against the floor. ‘And what would you do if I did? Tell me.’ he teased her. She couldn’t answer anymore, just helplessly looked at him, feeling soft and vulnerable in his arms, patiently waiting for him to take advantages of the situation. And he did, making sure she did enjoy it as well. ‘Adi, Adi, you have no idea how happy and alive you always made me feel.’ Paul heard himself saying loud.
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