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Poetry
Omar Revisited
By patterjack
18 September 2006
I have loved The Rubaiyat [ Fitzgerald version] since youth .

That Loaf of Bread , that Flask of wine , that Book of Verse -- and Thou beside me singing in the Wilderness

Pass the Thou !


Omar Revisited

Is it that in the Beginning is the Word ?
Life's meaning through a simple sound conferred?
Would thought or emotion , flicker into life
if it were never spoken , never heard ?

The Word in all its essence ebbs and flows
Its moment in Creation comes and goes .
Inchoate , it wavers but a little time
till it has fled . But where ? nobody knows.

The Cheetah and Gazelle , with frantic speed
driven by fear or hunger in their need
race for their lives through deep Savannah grass
and in the end the weaker one must bleed .

I heard a voice across the desert cry
Take heed or you will finish as did I !
Some whispering dust across this barren place ,
A short breath tainted with the grossest Lie.

A voice that through the wilderness is crying
Life's a long death in a chapter filled with dying
telling but once again that which we always knew ,
that mortal message which there's no denying .

The flames that leave a Bushland black and bare
with nothing alive,burn less than those that spare
nothing within me , Heart and Soul and Mind,
So that seeking Solace -- I find nothing there !

With Nothing left , then what is there to grieve ?
And a Nothing gives a Nothing to retrieve --
The blankness of the all encompassing Night
is all that my departing hence would leave .

Yet after all , the Coward's last device
could never be for me the worthwhile price
for Pleasures' absences , though base or fine ,
making of Abstinence my only Vice.

 

Reviews
Wonderful
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 18th September 2006
An inspiration. Full of meaning, lyrical genius.  
 
If I had one tiny criticism, its regarding the flow. In some places it seems to me to lack rhythm - perhaps this is a deliberate ploy to make the reader pause over the words - if so, exponential genius! 
 
We are not worthy noble Patterjack! 
 
Oli
Thank you
Written by patterjack (1314 comments posted) 18th September 2006
The Rubaiyat is mesmerising, addictive , and a great poem to drink along with  
 
Fitzgerald himself sometimes plays merry hell with the rhythms -- so I am not unappy to be a little rough at times -- and I am continually adjusting lines still. [3rd last stanza for example.] I don't have his facility in other areas , alas . Wish I did ! 
 
I got into a flap, nay , a frenzy ! with the formatting , and had to be rescued by another , a very kind lady . 
 
Another 7 years , at about 84 years of age , I shall maybe master it . 
 
patterjack  
 
 
 

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 18th September 2006
An inspiration indeed, best poem I've read for some time. This conjures up so much for me. I love it. 
 
We are not worthy! 
 
Elli
As above.
Written by Phil (6828 comments posted) 18th September 2006
Knew nothing of the Rubaiyat. Done a quick search. Looks interesting. I'll go back later for another read. 
 
I don't want to repeat, but 'lyrical' descibes this best for me. 
 
Wonderful. 
 
All the best, 
 
Phil.
to all
Written by patterjack (1314 comments posted) 18th September 2006
Thank you , much appreciated  
 
The moving finger writes and having writ , moves on .... 
 
With luck I may have got some of the obsession out of my system . 
 
Omar may have his gloomy moments , but in general , he is a pretty positive person ! 
 
patterjack
Elevating the tone....
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 19th September 2006
Enjoyed this Brian. 
 
Fitzgerald, eh. I must say you add a touch of class to the Poetry Site. Looking forward to a reworking of Milton's Samson. [ When the Temple doesn't actually fall down]. 
 
'You have been weighed in the balance and have been found NOT to be wanting' 
 
Satisfying read. Well done. 
 
Slan!

Written by rheavee (13 comments posted) 19th September 2006
I Love Rubaiyat...it reminds me I have to look for my own copy at home... 
 
Guess you just found a new fan in me... :)
I Loved It
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 20th September 2006
Hi Brian 
 
This was beyond superlatives...In fact to say it was wonderful is probably an insult.  
 
I can't find the words to describe this poem, but you have captured the feeling, the passion, and mesmerising intricancy of words and flow to hold me totally captivated. 
 
I've always loved The Rubaiyat, and now you've made me love it even more... 
 
best wishes 
 
mish x

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3433 comments posted) 21st September 2006
I really don't feel qualifed to comment on this except to say it belongs in the published world not just stuck here in cyber-space. This belongs in a published anthology for all to properly appreciate, not just philistines like me. 
sometimes you just know when something is great 
cheers 
BBS
Oh.. the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam!
Written by amsford (17 comments posted) 24th July 2008
This was one of my favorites growing up! I loved 
 
"...nor all thy Piety nor Wit 
Shall call it back to cancel half a line 
Nor all your tears wash out a word of it." 
 
(Not sure if that is the exact quote... I'm remembering back to my grade school days when I memorized parts of the Rubaiyat along with "In Flanders Fields" and "When I Was One and Twenty" 
 
As to your revisiting... I love it! I particularly like the last line. 
 
Well done, indeed!

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