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Poetry
Run, Run Little One
By Raynie
19 September 2006
Haha, another random thought for the paranoid mind. :) Please review, even if you dislike it! I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts.


Run, run Little One.
I see them in the distance.
They're watching and waiting,
Breathing and berating.
For that time when you'll be standing alone,
They'll leap, they'll strike,
They'll show their spite
Until you're on the ground,
Weezing and dumbfounded.

Be careful Little One.
They're sneaking closer every moment.
Their eyes are on you,
They see around you
Yet still you make no move.
So be prepared, Darling Dear
For they will find your greatest fear
And they will trap you in a snap,
You'll be stuck in this small mishap.

Run, run Little One
My darling dear, I am your fear,
I'm behind you,
I surround you
And every waking moment I'll be aware.
Oh Little One, Little One,
The hour has surely come,
Look behind you and you'll see,
The only one watching is me.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 19th September 2006
This could quite possibly be me being completely stupid, it's not unknown, but I can't quite fathom this.  
 
I really like the sound and feel of this, although I think you could afford to shorten some of the lines and lose a few superfluous words here and there. 
 
Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 25th September 2006
Hi Raynie, 
 
Thanks for your review! 
I really liked this, it had a nice flow to it and although, like phil, I think it could use some tidying up round the edges, this has the makings of a really nice piece. 
 
Keep with it 
 
Elli

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