In 1977 as an 11 year old I sufferred my first bereavement. My Granda was only 64 and had a fatal heart attack - there was no warning - on Saturday he was fine, then we return from school on Monday to hear that he has died. Myself and my twin were considered to you to attend the funeral. We loved Granda so so so much, he was just the lovliest man I ever met. His loss hurts just as much now as it did then. This is about the strange comfort that comes from seeing him in dreams and feeling for a fleeting moment that he is really still alive.
Oli.
GRANDA
Granda, each time I see you in my dreams, My sleeping heart in boyish wonder pounds,
By virtue of your glowing smile it seems,
The intervening years can be rewound.
Each teasing frame in my mind’s eye reveals,
You just as I remember, way back then,
But when the morning sun your image steals,
The wounds of loss are opened once again.
Yet please do not desert my sleeping hours,
‘Tis better to be loved and feel the pain,
Those fleeting, cheating moments are still ours,
E’en though you’re but a spectre in my brain.
Your kindly apparition comfort brings,
As did your loving arms, when as a child,
I climbed upon your lap to hear the tales,
That always held my boyish heart, beguiled.
I’d not the chance to say farewell to you,
One day so full of life, the next day gone,
And how the dizzy years like seconds flew,
Your memory still kept me struggling on.
Your kind and loving heart is sorely missed,
Some thirty years have passed since it last beat,
If such a place as heaven does exist,
I’ll be that child again at Granda’s feet.
But those with love remembered are not dead,
You’ll live forever in my loving heart,
And when I lie serene on my death bed,
We’ll be united, never more to part.
Oli (19/09/06)
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The intro should say...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 19th September 2006 |
We were considered too young to attend the funeral...sorry.
Oli |
Beautiful!
Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 19th September 2006 |
Oli, that was such a beautiful, heartfelt poem. My son was the same age when my dad died three years ago, and he worshipped his grandad. He was devastated, and it brings back a lot of memories for me, too - all good.
I can identify with every word of every verse, and I don't mind admitting it brought tears to my eyes, as we still miss him very much.
I loved it - thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. |
Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 19th September 2006 |
Another beautiful poem Oli. You have such a delicate touch with rhyme and rhythm.
As with Lyn, this moved me. I suppose lots of us have loved ones that are missed desperately - and memories can bring both pleasure and pain. Although this was your personal response, it clearly works well for Lyn and me too.
You're certainly on form at the moment.
Al the best,
Phil. |
Written by rheavee (13 comments posted) 19th September 2006 |
So beautiful! You really have a lot to thank God for... Me, I never had a grand dad because they have passed away before I was born...
Continue writing beautiful poetry  |
I can relate.
Written by Raynie (4 comments posted) 19th September 2006 |
I was about the exact same age when my last remaining grandparent, my dad's father, died. This was about 5 years ago. I always felt a bit lonely because I was the girl at Grandparent's day that never had a grandma or grandpa, and I still am. I don't know very many people who don't have grandparents, and I always get pretty angsty when I'm around my friend's family because they're exactly like mine was when Grandpa was still alive. I lost a big part of my life at that age, and I really had not wanted to go to the funeral, but I couldn't [I]not[I/] go, so I sat and cried while the procession occured.
Life is full of losses and remembrances. Even if these memories make us sad, it would be better to have them, than to forget something so important in our lives. Do you agree? |
Friends...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 20th September 2006 |
I'm unworthy of your praise - I wrote it merely to get the sadness out on paper, out of my soul.
LynB - I'm glad you liked it. I read your "Let no Man Put Asunder" and you are no mean writer. Your approval is very valuable. Hope it didn't leave you too raw.
Phil - you are too kind! On form? Not really - just desperately depressed. My Wife read this and put me on suicide watch. It was the last stanza that got her. I've no intention to join Granda just yet - theres still more doggerel to write.
Rheavee, you are right I must count my blessings. Its hard to see them through the blue mist at the moment. You encourage me to struggle on and write more - for that I am humbly thankful. May your God bless you.
Raynie, I agree completely, you are very wise for one so young. Death is a part of life, but like I say in the poem, is someone really "dead" while their memory, and their love, burns on in others hearts? I think in a very special way, my Granda and your Grandpa are still alive. Those other kids still have to face what you went through - I think that cusp of adulthood 11 - 14 is such a vulnerable time though, emotions really last and can scar deeply.
Again, thank you all.
Oli. |
Heartfelt
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 20th September 2006 |
Hi Talisker
This poem was so very beautiful it made me cry. It made me remember my grandad.
I was only 4 when he died. he was 61. It was tragic, and so unfair. I dreamt of him the night he died and woke up holding his hand. I wrote a poem 'Sleep Beautiful Sleep' as soon as I awoke and told Mum that Grandad had been holding my hand. I did not know he'd already died.
Your poem brought it all back...
Thank you and best wishes
mish x |
Tears
Written by matt (18 comments posted) 20th September 2006 |
| Sorry Oli - misunderstood you in 'Moving On' posts. Take care - keep it light ( someone wiser than me gave me that advice recently - wish I knew what it meant!). |
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