Quicklinks:
Short S. | Poetry | Not News | Scripts | Comedy | Non-Fiction | SF | Crime | For Kids | Extended | Village
Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Josie's Pain
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 2215 guests online and 5 members online
Poetry
print friendly version     
Josie's Pain
By matt
20 September 2006
I accidentally posted this incorrectly yesterday leading to an 'essay' rather than a poem - rather lost the effect I think!  This is how it should have looked.
I was moved to write this after looking at Givitsum's 'Give War a Chance' and the various postings thereafter - particularly Josie's terribly sad and painful memories.


The words flow leaving a dark stain
Like blood in the snow.
And Josie's heart is raped once more 
By the utter futility
The destructive, insanity of war.

Writers, hear my voice and know your art,
And never, ever forget,
That the dried blood of many a mothers son,
And the flowing, grieving flooding tears,
Shed in a lonely lover's cold dark bed,
And a million broken bodies, and Josie's broken heart,
Gave us the power we hold in our hand
And the freedom to use words as a weapon.

Reviews
From me
Written by Josie (2845 comments posted) 21st September 2006
I'm not sure that your poem should hve been personally directed towards me, although I know you meant well. There are people in this world who have suffered pain that I could not imagine. I haven't had a son who was carried home in a body bag, but many have. I just think that when we write, we should sometimes feel what it feels like to be the reader of the words on the paper. Perhaps you could change your poem to "A mother's Pain". Much much better I feel.
Consider the title changed to 'A Mother
Written by matt (18 comments posted) 21st September 2006
Mmm - sorry - I had intended that it was personally directed towards every writer, not you - you happened to be the catalyst that moved me to write it (and I like your name - it is poetic which contrasts so well with the subject matter- will flattery help!?). Seriously Josie, the wording of the second paragraph was intended to highlight that it was a global issue as well as a personal one. It was as much about some of the rather 'wayward' responses following the orginal work by Givitsum; about the writers responsibility - not wishing to be judgemental at all - but just whether we have a duty to consider the reader's sensitivities - (exactly as you say in fact). So, in deference to your sensitivities, I am happy to change the title (if I can figure out how to do it without losing the original posting - don't really want to bring it to the top of the list again so I won't re-post it now unless you are really upset). I want no comments from anyone saying that I should not change a poem just because someone else feels discomfort from it - I wrote it, I'll do what I like (but only because Josie is the subject matter - I'm not changing it again for anyone else).
Ooop!
Written by matt (18 comments posted) 21st September 2006
That last header should have read: 
 
Ooops:
Written by matt (18 comments posted) 21st September 2006
The header should have read CONSIDER THE TITLE CHANGED TO 'A MOTHER'S PAIN'

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!
 Previous item   Next item
This site is copyright 2005 - 2007 Great Writing. Work submitted by members remains the copyright of the respective authors.
See our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.