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Comedy
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| Nice one Satan. | |
| By cynicsid | ||||||||
| 21 September 2006 | ||||||||
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More Siddonic Whimsy NICE ONE SATAN. Lucifer and Beelzebub were ecstatic. So they sang a paean of praise to their mate Satan: - “Nice one Satan, Nice one son, We thought we were evil, But you’re the wickedest one.” Satan smiled well he actually sneered and answered, “Thanks lads it’s nice to get credit where credit’s due particularly from practitioners of one’s own craft. See I looked at it like this, keep going on about “Bad” and you’re playing to “His” rules. Right, so, make “Good” as repulsive as bad and you’re on a winner, see it’s like a two horse race and you’ve got bets on both runners. When they do evil things in the name of the Devil, they always feel guilty. But do the same things in the name of “God” and they puff up with pride. Lucifer chipped in, “My favourite was Oliver Cromwell, he was a psychopaths’ psychopath. Mind I was quite keen on the bloke behind the Spanish Inquisition” Beelzebub disagreed, “No the Prophet was the real business, he was the one for me and he’s going the distance unlike the other two. “’ere,” said Satan, “Lets have a laugh, lets see some more Martyrs” A group of puzzled looking young men in their early twenties appeared out of thin air. They looked if anything disappointed. Lucifer asked, “How are you settling in, like it here do you? Martyr 1 replied, “It’s not as we imagined, why is it so hot and smelly?” Martyr 2 added, “Why do we keep getting prodded with vicious stakes and whipped? Martyr 3 asked, “Where’s the Virgins, we were promised Virgins. “You’ve got them” chortled Beelzebub, “You’ve got each other” Satan got bored with this so he chanted, “Go forth to eternal darkness”, and off they went. Lucifer got a little philosophical, “Do you know I’m not too sure, that our real winner, wasn’t that bloke, who with our help, dreamed up the Nuclear Bomb. I’ve a feeling in my hooves that the “End is truly Nigh”.
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